Thursday, June 11, 2015


A couple of years ago, I ran into an old familiar face. It was on a night out on the town with a few girlfriends and drinks were being poured and all were merry and dancing on every available piece of furniture. She was in boarding school with me, a couple of years behind me but as always I never forget a face. We didn’t speak but gave the obligatory “I recognize you” smile & polite nods.

Thinking about the night as you do once the tequila haze has worn off and you once again are having that “come to Jesus” talk with yourself about how this is most definitely the last time for the 22nd time that you will not drink tequila in public after midnight because most of your imbecilic life decisions all had one thing in common - tequila. Somewhere in those thoughts she popped up and I started to think back to those teenage years and the girl I was and how I’ve evolved into this woman.
I pondered on how I had changed and what good and bad qualities have stuck over the years.

I bumped into an old friend yesterday; one who knows me better than most. Mid-conversation, he pauses and with a slight head tilt to the left says “Hmm you’ve grown, you look different, no longer the innocent faced girl from years ago.” with a smirk/eye roll combo I scoffed and replied “yeah it’s LIFE!” and he said “No, it looks good.” with an ever so slight nod.
He’s a man I met as a boy who has become a man by every, and all standards.
Usually a man of few words, my old friend’s approval meant the world to me. Not only because he’s at the top of a progressively dwindling list of men that I respect but because he wasn’t talking about age lines or dark circles (Some things will never change!).
I HAVE changed. I am still changing. For one thing I no longer dance on furniture. It’s just plain obnoxious.
Embracing change is often no small feat for anyone. For me it began with appreciating the freedom in embracing all sides of my reality.
It is ok to mess it all up because there is no perfect formula to living right.
It is ok that you allowed frogs that didn’t deserve your love overstay their welcome in your heart.
It’s ok that you believed that if you kissed them hard enough they’d turn into princes. (The devil is a LIE!!!)
It’s ok that it took you a few good years to figure out what the hell was going on with your eyebrows.
It is ok that you wore frosty blue eye shadow with pink lipstick.
Forgive yourself.
Above all else, remember your story is still being written and happy endings usually don’t happen until the last page. You’ll get through all the s**t in between. ☺

Wednesday, June 03, 2015

The devil had a baby girl and her name is Gravity

As a girl you learn a lot in your science classes about theories and phenomenon, abstract things about the universe that tickle your imagination. We learn that there are other planets floating out there, we learn laws like ‘for every action there is an equal or opposite reaction’.

If you took physics classes like I did, then you may remember that Sir Isaac Newton discovered gravity. I looked up gravity in the dictionary and it is defined as ‘the force that attracts a body toward the center of the earth, or toward any other physical body having mass’. 
Newsflash! Isaac lied. He didn’t discover gravity, Eve discovered gravity! I’m going to take one for the team and risk being smitten and say when God said “…I will greatly multiply thy sorrow...” , amongst other things, somewhere on top of that list was gravity. He was so mad at that apple eating heifer that he reached so far out and cursed us with SAG!
He does live up to his promise of showing us mercy. At least light years later he gave us "the bra".

But back to me. Why did I not know that my body was subject to the law of gravity as well? Why is everything heading due south? I'm good on this side of the Earth, I don't want to visit middle Earth. Frodo n' em can keep that! You wake up one morning and you're like my body parts did a little migrating while I was ironically- "catching beauty sleep".
Yes, I know we are supposed to exercise and keep it tight but trust me not everything stays up no matter how hard you try. 

I am told men sag too eventually. I’m not sure how that’s supposed to make me feel better living in a society where a rotund gut is lauded as “signs of good living”.
Women are held to ridiculously high standards when it comes to our appearance. I am nobody’s feminist and I will admit that I am vain…probably a little more so than the average woman. I spend entirely too much time and money on stalling the aging process. If there is a contraption, apparatus or potion that promises to hold it all up, I will bear the discomfort and try it. I am not ashamed to say that I am very much a victim of said ridiculous standards.

I’d love to tell you that I do it just for myself like most women claim to but no, I’m not risking lung collapse just to stare and admire myself in the mirror. I already know I’m cute but it never hurts to let the boys know too.