What?? You say… YES! It’s the new term I’ve coined for my issues with shoes.
My obsession with shoes falls into three categories. There are the affordable shoes, the shoes that I cannot afford but I buy anyway and then there are unaffordable shoes and under that category, there are the shoes that I won’t buy because I feel that the designers are price gouging and there are the shoes that are just not within the reach of my income bracket…YET.
Back to my ‘isshoes’, everyone that has been to Lagos knows the damage that the roads can do to your shoes. You wear a brand new pair of shoes and at the end of the day, your soles look like you’ve been laying bricks all day. For that very reason I have not been able to wear any of my Ferragamo loafers or drivers. Anyone who knows me well knows how much I revere my Ferragamo shoes. They have a special place in the shoe section of my heart.
However, I decided to break the curse this morning and wear my mandarin drivers to work. I haven’t worn them in almost a year and I thought I was been ridiculous after all I can’t keep them in their boxes forever right?
After much deliberation, I decided the best course of action would be to wear a pair of flip flops into the car and then put my shoes on when I get to my desk.
So there I am a-hopping, skipping and jumping to work. I’m ecstatic that I’m wearing my shoes finally and thinking to myself why it took me so long to come up with such an ingenious idea.
And then there was LUNCH TIME!
A co-worker and I decided to go out to lunch and this is the point that is the reason for this story. It had been raining all day and I couldn’t figure how I was going to walk from the restaurant parking lot into the restaurant. I mean I couldn’t take my shoes in the duster bag like I did this morning and change when I sat at the table… or could I?
So here I am sitting at my desk. I have given up on going to lunch because my shoes were not made for the rain. Of course my co-worker’s rolling her eyes at me saying “What idiot designs shoes with leather soles?” And I’m thinking “If you don’t get it, you never will”. I’ve given her options like piggy-backing me into the restaurant from the car or if I could get one of those plastic thingies that men in factories wear to protect their shoes, then we have a date!
I realize that this is shallow but please walk a mile in my shoes and feel how comfortable they are and then you can judge me!
I’ve got ISSHOES! lol
So I had a little shoe party yesterday. I was the hostess, my shoes were the guests. It’s nothing out of the ordinary. At least not in my world because they know me there! I have these parties all the time. I bring my shoes out, I try them on, I pair them with outfits, I treat them according to care instructions, leather gets a coat of leather protector, suede- gets cleaned with a soft cloth and suede protector sprayed on and so on and so forth.
Yesterday got me thinking about how much value I have come to place on my shoes. Let’s ignore the fact that my little shoe collection could most probably buy a little shack somewhere in a third world country lol I’ve often found myself thinking about how much I could have in the bank if I hadn’t overindulged on what some like to call over-priced shoes. To those people I say there is a HUGE difference between some cheap shoes made of man-made materials and shoes that cost a little more but are made of natural materials. U just ask the lady with the bunions and corns on all her toes. U can’t last a whole night club hopping in some cheap shoes! And you may think that as long as they look good no one else will know, but I ask you to search your conscience because if no one else knows… God knows you paid $29.99 for those “If u like Prada pumps then you’d like our …shoes”.
Anyway I remember months ago in Atlanta when the love of my life Eve (my pit bull pup) ate the heel of my shoe. They were the perfect tan pumps and were ruffled in front. I loved those shoes. I really thought that the dog chewing on the shoe thing was another myth like ‘the dog ate my homework excuse’ not until I left Eve in my room to go into the bathroom and came back to her not nibbling, not chewing but CHOMPING on the heel of my shoes! Oh boy! When I think back to that incident now I do believe God was testing my love aptitude. Needless to say, I failed because Eve got the sh*t slapped out of her and spent the rest of the day in the garage. I mean, I love Eve. She was like my first child. Eve who I’d buy fabulous collars for, Eve who I’d take to the groomers, Eve who I’d take to doggie-daycare so she wouldn’t be lonely when I’m at work, Eve who shared my bed! You can imagine finding her with the shoe in her mouth was like a stab straight through the heart. Although I’d have to confess and say that I did feel better after whacking her.
Now I don’t want the members of P.E.T.A beating down my door and talking about animal cruelty. Chomping on the perfect tan, BCBG Max Azria pumps? Now that’s cruelty because every woman knows how hard it is to find the right shade of tan to go with everything. If Imelda Marcos had some organization to stop the wrongful treatment of shoes, would dogs not be the greatest offenders? Dogs and the guy who designed the first sanchoes boots. I say that in all fairness because I can’t give that credit to a woman. Only a man could have designed something so ugly!
I still have my shoes because I can’t bring myself to throw them away. Firstly, because they cost too damn much and secondly because I have this constant fear that if I do wear them out, someone will confront me, stand me on my head to check out the bite marks on the heel of my shoe!
And now you have true insight into how truly twisted my mind is… lol
Oh my goodness it feels so good to be writing again after a chronic case of “blogger-block” lol alot has happened in the last 2 months. As my last blog entry stated, I was going through a “what’s my life all about” phase that lasted a little longer than I expected it to. I have recently crawled out of that dark place and I’m gradually putting the pieces of the puzzle together.
I can’t say I get it all but I am beginning to get it now. I’m working on a business plan which I hope will play out as smoothly in real life…well not too smoothly because I do love a challenge now and then. I’m having issues with negotiating space and rent but I’m soaking up every bit of this experience and loving it. I feel awake for the first time in months! I’m finally getting it and getting it together.
Also, I have ‘moved on up’ at work and now work for the ‘top dog’ in the company with whom I share a GLASS WALL!! No longer can I chat on the phone or check neimanmarcus.com for “fall’s hottest fashion trends” firstly because I actually do work now and secondly, he has this habit of popping his head out of his door which of course is behind me and virtually impossible to notice when he gets up because I am so engrossed in the detailing on this fall’s Christian Louboutins!
The plus to this though is; working for the boss means everyone has to kiss my a** once in a while to get stuff through to him. I’ll have to admit we are a funny pair (me and my boss that is) Him and his South-African/Dutch accent and me and my Nigerian accent laced with American undertones. You should hear us conversing; we sound like the United Nations live feed during a really bad storm!
Another funny thing is I remember him been out of town often before I started working for him and now it seems the next time he’s going out of town is when he’s going home for Christmas. Just my luck!
In the last couple of months I have also very sadly gained 10 pounds. Apparently, the substitute for putting the brakes on a very active social life is weight gain. Now nothing fits right and I’m back to my gruesome and if I might add very unhealthy diet. I plan to jump start my social activities in a couple of weeks and I can’t do that if the clothes don’t fit right now can I?
The good news is my feet are still the same. Thank God for shoes at least they don’t make you feel fat so there is some consolation in this after all.
Thank you to everyone who has bugged me constantly to keep writing and update my blog… this one’s for you.
Oh in a desperate bid to get out of my rut, I got chestnut blonde highlights a couple of weeks ago. Which look fab but then I wonder why I did it because the last time I did, I had to cut all my hair off to grow the color out and also to start over and I just got the bounce and length back in my hair.
Not everything that is faced can be changed, but nothing can be changed until it is faced. - James Baldwin
In the past month, I have watched as my social life has taken a gradual spiral downturn... by choice. I don't know what's to blame for this. I make all these plans during the week and then come Thursday night into Friday morning I feel like a balloon that someone's let all the air out of. I can't seem to get my head around partying or socializing.
Lately all I can think about are two things. Love and Money ( and that's in no particular order). I am going through an "early life crisis" not to be confused with the mid-life crisis that comes with affairs and a flashy red Maserati. I am desperately in search of a meaning to my life and not knowing where to turn is a bit frustrating. They say it's normal to feel a sense of detachment in your early 20's. You're supposed to feel like you don't know what you want to do with your life and this is the time where you're supposed to do some soul searching and find yourself. Well I must be rolling with the wrong 20-somethings because most of the people I am friends with, have their lives together and are jetting towards retirement at 35. I on the other hand after two business degrees and reading all the books in the world, still feel empty.
I am particularly been meticulous of the decisions that I need to make at this point in my life because I feel they will either make or break me. I am a control freak who obsessively tries to marginalize all possible errors that could occur in my life. From career choices to love and life in general. It's been one hell of a roller-coaster trying to make decisions. Even more mind-boggling is the fact that though I've come a long way in convincing myself that I don't care what anyone thinks, in the back of my mind, I am desperately searching for validation from the people in my life to kind of stir me in some sorted direction.
Himself says I'm dealing with a lethal dose of "reality check" (sometimes it sucks to have a man who can be so in tune with himself and life) I hate that- REALITY CHECK... if this is my reality then pass me a feather pillow
because I need to keep on dreaming for a while.
In my quest to find myself again (BECAUSE I GO THROUGH THIS PHASE ABOUT 2-3 TIMES A YEAR) I have done the usual reading and writing. I have been so encouraged by the words of Maya Angelou. Ladies, please read Phenomenal Woman and Still I Rise amongst others. Her words have been such a source of inspiration.
I don't know how long this phase will last but I do know that it's the journey not the destination that counts.
And with love and Ms. Angelou on my side. I will get through it cos I'm awoman...Phenomenally!
I do need to get it together cos mama needs a new pair of shoes and they don't accept finger snaps at Neiman's (not that I've tried)
"Make the most of yourself, for that is all there is of you" - Ralph Waldo Emerson
Monday- Peter Jennings passed away last nite. God rest his soul. It’s amazing how someone is there one minute and the next, they’re gone. Also has made me aware how deadly cancer is how it is of course no respecter of person. I am devastated and truly shocked. America has lost one of it’s greatest news anchors. He’s the only one I’d watch for the nightly news. Really sad… Seems like all the greats are leaving us. First, my favorite actor on my favorite show (Law & Order) Jerry Orbach, dies. No longer will I hear those witty and hilarious one-liners delivered at the crime scene again. Then Luther, I was at a club (11:45) at an event showcasing up and coming Nigerian artistes, when Dare Art-Alade announced the passing of Luther and did a wonderful rendition of “Dance with my Father”. Needless to say the mood changed and most of my friends and I cried at the loss of someone who had been a part of our lives. God bless them all.
Tuesday- DISCOVERY IS HOME! It’s amazing how even though I am away from America, I am still so patriotic. My eyes still water every time I hear the songs “America The Beautiful” and “The Star-Spangled Banner”. On 4th of July, I was depressed because I was at work so no barbecues for me. I watched Discovery’s landing live and was so excited when it touched down. People didn’t understand why I was so excited and still drew blank when I explained how important this was because of the men and women we had lost when “Columbia” crashed in 2003. WELCOME BACK!
America will always be a part of me and I will always be American deep down in my heart.
Wednesday- THE HYATTES! My goodness so this story came on CNN about this couple who were on some Bonnie & Clyde sh*t. This woman busted her man on his way to prison. What the hell? Then I go and look on the website and they’re also on some Ebony & Ivory sh*t. I know this is a bad time to bring this up but the brotha is a cutie. No wonder he had Ms. Snow-White all loved up…lost her job and married his ass in prison and made him kill an officer of the law. I don’t know how smart they are though. At this rate they’ll catch up to them before the end of week.Bluefly.com started its semi-annual Blue sale today. Ladies. u can get up to 85% on tons of stuff... SHOES... SHOES and more SHOES...
Thursday- THEY GOT CAUGHT! Bonnie & Clyde Version 3.0 got caught. No surprises there! I say 3.0 because there was the first B & C and then there was Version 2.0 (Jay-z & Beyonce) and now these clowns who thot they could get away with murder. Let’s see how they can be together now. That was some dumb sh*t. I don’t care how bad this sounds, but a sista would never have gotten herself in that situation. She’d have been like “I luv u boo but I got ur back from way over there!” lol “NO! U messed up! Deal with it and do the damn time!”
Kimora Lee Simmons who seems to be spending all her time at the tanning salon nowadays got off with a slap on the wrist. I am so mad at that. A high speed chase and drug possession and all of a sudden the charges were reduced to careless driving. And they say money can’t buy everything…
Friday- IS MY DAY OF LEISURE AND PARTYING! So I’ll give you my ‘unasked for’ opinions over the weekend if I wake up before Monday that is!
Smooches x
I haven’t fallen off the face of the earth. I will explain my inability to be as frequent in my writing. It’s the same reason every woman changes her routine/ritual which she has sworn by for forever, it’s the same reason you can’t live with but still can’t live without- A MAN...ok not just any man... THE MAN (If I had a dollar for every time I've said that... I'd still be poor) lol
I don’t know if I send out insomniac vibes but I only seem to attract insomniacs like myself. I am the only one that I know you can call at 3am in the morning and I answer the phone like I’m a telephone operator who moonlights at Starbucks! I am always ready for a conversation- with the right person that is. I used to be the one girl-friends will call crying to at all hours in the morning to bitch and moan about their men.
So all I seem to do with my days and more of my nites is talk to Himself discussing everything under the sun or moon in this case.
Eagerly anticipating his return.
I am not famous for my patience.
Neither is he. We’re a match made in heaven..ha!!
Plus the man will walk to the Lancome counter and buy me my mascara and GET the right one. I tell u ladies, if he passes the "run to the store and buy me tampons" test. I will propose! (yikes!)
I’m currently reading ‘Last Chance Saloon’ by Marian Keyes. Love her. I’m one book short of reading all she’s published. Thanks to B who is equally as obsessed, I haven’t had to buy one book even though Marian Keyes deserves my money. Oh I did buy ‘Sushi for Beginners’ but still ended up reading B’s copy (don’t ask!)
Anyway ‘Last Chance…’ is about a group of thirty-something’s, who are childhood friends and of course everyone of them is twisted in some kind of way. It’s a good read. I recommend it. I’ll recommend Ms. Keyes. The only one I couldn’t get my head into was ‘Lucy Sullivan is Getting Married’ I don’t know if that has more to do with the book or my phobia of marriage. The whole concept of ‘happily ever after’ is a bit scary. The EVER AFTER been the part that scares the bajeyzus outta me. It just doesn’t happen!
Monogamy is an unfeasible social concept. There are just too many of us. And how many times have u found “The One”? How many times have you felt so connected to someone? I think people being together and staying together is a personal decision.
I’ve always felt and said love is a decision. So is commitment and fidelity.
Enough of the raving…
My phone’s ringing.. it’s HIM!!
More as and when… x"Love makes your soul crawl out from it's hiding place"- Zora Neale Hurston
Here’s a list of my all time favorite things & favorite things right now. I believe every girl needs to put these on a check list every year. Something that gives you that extra pep in your step! That makes you feel a lil’ more fabulous than you already are when u wake up ;-)
These things have gotten me through this year so far so good so I thot I’d share. Some of them I’ve acquired and some I have not… those I prefer to call “The reason I get up every morning at 5am to go to work!”
So here they are in no particular order- doing that will be like having kids and having to admit you love one more than the other! (yikes!)
1) A CD- There’s that one cd you hear and it reminds you of a certain time in your life or a certain stage you were in your life. This year, it would be Destiny Fulfilled (DC), Mariah’s “Emancipation…”, Maroon 5’s “Songs about Jane” and what’s on repeat in my cd player rite now is R.Kelly’s TP3.com:Reloaded (YES I bought a real copy and I have the receipt to prove it) I recommend it to everyone. This CD is way off the hook. My ex-baby daddy has done it again! One advice ladies, if you intend to listen to this constantly, I suggest you get yourself a MAN…before it gets cold. All the songs on this album are too damn sexy. Thank God we only have one weather in Nigeria (oh boy!) ***2) LUELLA! LUELLA! LUELLA! I will be the first to admit that I didn’t think Ms. Bartley would last in the fashion world. I just thot she was a fad but she’s starting to prove me wrong and I’m glad she did because her stuff is getting more & more fab. If you can’t afford to spring for a bag or wallet rite now. Go and check out MAC! She’s got a line of lip glosses that are too cute and they’re limited edition. And the price is right 14 bucks. ***3) SMYTHSON Five Year Diary- Every girl needs a journal. It’s a good reference for a time in your life. I love to write down anything and everything (except incriminating activities HA!) so I’m mad about stationery. Smythson is my all time fave. Stuff can be a bit pricey “for just paper” as Himself keeps telling me (what does he know?) and the 5 yr diary is really an investment if u think about it. Think of all the things that could happen in 5 years before you have to buy another one :-)4) A BOOK- I am constantly reading. I am the only person I know that has read everything that Sidney Sheldon and Jackie Collins have written. I am in my chick-lit phase right now (how long is a phase supposed to last for because it’s been about 2 years) The Shopaholic Series is a must read. ‘Shopaholic and Sister’ is it for me right now. I suggest you read them all…too fun! I am also a ‘Potterhead’ I love HARRY POTTER! The one and only bookstore that released it in Lagos was sold out by the time I got there. I have placed a special order for Harry Potter and The Half-Blood Prince (not advisable if you haven’t read the first 5 books) ***5) FABULOUS DESIGNER SHOES- Ok I didn’t want to be obvious and make this # 1 but I mean really this is a no-brainer. I wouldn’t even stop at one, make it a bi-weekly affair ;-) I’ve gotten my D&G’s this summer so at least I’m smiling. Since Lagos only affords me the luxury of online shopping I have felt like a caged animal but I think I’m doing pretty well. ***6) TIFFANY- Every girl needs something from Tiffany. I’ve always said if I’m found dead, I will be found with at least one piece from Tiffany on my person. They have expanded their 1837 collection (my personal favorite) and therefore have inadvertently extended a challenge towards me to expand mine. ***7) APPLE- I am surrounded by ‘Apple-heads’ all my favorite people love, own, and are obsessed with Apple products so it’s no big surprise that some of it has rubbed off on me. My fave thing now is the special edition U2 IPOD. It’s black and red and stands out plus it’s autographed. Besides Bono is so hot and he’s one of the people I admire most for his philanthropic ways.8) A BAG- This season! 2 words! CHRISTIAN DIOR! They are going crazy with the flowers (see doctor’s bag to your right- top of article) Oh my goodness! Please go on eluxury.com and join me in salivating over this collection of bags with embroidered flowers. This bag is my personal favorite now. This should get us through a couple of years at almost $1600 a pop!9) AN ELEGANT TIMEPIECE- The good thing about a watch is that it can last you a couple of years except if you’re like some of us that have an addiction to retail and “Just have to have that!” One that I was obsessed with was Phillip Stein Tesslar (Madonna gave Oprah one and she wore it on every show for one whole season!) You can change the straps and they have this cool chip that alleviates stress (I don’t know about that because my cousin is always on the edge…sorry cuz! :-) Me! I’m a Movado kinda girl… see I don’t ask for much but I do love RADO ***10) CHANEL SUNGLASSES- I said CHANEL! Enough said! I mean really do I need to explain this… the goddess of CHANEL will never smile on me again. Get a pair! If only to know what Paris Hilton feels like. I feel invisible in mine. I have the ones I wear all the damn time and then the “special occasion ones” that’s when I want to unleash the “Paris” within lol Mucho gracias (was a gift) My friends love me! ***
*** indicates the checks on my check list.
What?? You say… YES! It’s the new term I’ve coined for my issues with shoes.
