Saturday, October 29, 2005
Growing up I loved Greek mythology. I was very fascinated by Greek gods and goddesses and the stories behind how they came to be. The stories were so fascinating and surreal. Perfect for an only child with an overactive imagination and whose world revolved around books and a mansion that had everything that I ever desired as a child a.k.a ‘Under the dining table’.
I remember in college English 1102 (World Lit.) was my easiest ‘A’ because “The Odyssey” and “The Iliad” were a major part of the course. I had no problem reading every page when most of the others just bought the “Cliff notes”.
I recently stumbled upon a story in Plato’s ‘Symposium’, Aristophanes (a philosopher), explains the feeling of familiarity we feel when a loved one comes into our lives. The claim is the loved one was our long lost “other half”. According to Aristophanes, all human beings used to be hermaphrodites with 4 hands and 4 legs and 2 faces on the same head looking opposite directions. But the hermaphrodites exuded much pride and were becoming so powerful that Zeus decided to separate them- ergo the male and female.
From that day forth, men and women have pined after their ‘other halves’ hoping to be made whole.
Literature on love is about as accurate as me drawing a straight line after ‘2 for 1 Margaritas’ at happy hour. Boy meets Girl, they fall in love, Girl’s Daddy hates Boy which further intensifies love, Boy & Girl elope, Daddy realizes he’s a bigot somewhere around Page 258 and accepts Boy & Girl and they live happily ever after. Or of course in the case of the greatest love story of all time, they die! That’s what perfect love will do to you- It’ll kill ya!
But these are the classic love stories. A typical love story has the meeting, the falling in love, the obstacle, obstacle overcome and then the “Happily Ever After”.
Meanwhile on Planet Earth….
I’m sure we’d all agree that’s far from the case. Unlike “The End” we encounter after the consummation of love in the movies and books, in real life it’s more like “The End……” until of course the final “END”. I have always felt strongly about the words “I love you for who you are” – a more appropriate sentence I feel SHOULD BE “I love you in spite of who you are and accept you for who you are not” My belief is we fall in love with the idea of a person. After a lifetime of Romeo & Juliet-esque stories who can blame us?
When the love of your life falls short of everything you want him to be, is that what translates into the “irreconcilable differences” clause on the divorce agreement?
If love is what brings us together, is it enough to keep us together?
Wouldn’t a better approach be having a serious reality check before commitment and understanding that we come into a relationship with all of ourselves. And knowing that “I do grow hair in places that you thought I didn’t” and NO! Chanel No.5 is not my body’s natural odor and “YES I SNORE even though I know you’re a light sleeper and I’d love to clip my nostrils together and stuff my throat with my socks but I’m afraid I won’t make it till the morning so I can annoy the hell out of you as you listen to me make that irritating noise with my throat in the mornings”.
What is love?
Is it the butterflies I get when I see your name on my Caller ID? Or is it the way my heartbeat quickens when I see you walk through that door?
Or is "loving" a decision? Me deciding that no matter what may come our way, I have DECIDED to stick this through a.k.a perseverance. Is it me deciding that when you do start to snore, I turn around and give you the evil eye but instead of trying to give you a concussion with my elbow, I gently nudge and turn you around on your side as I try hard not wake you because I know you had a really hard day a.k.a tolerance, a.k.a consideration, a.k.a accommodation.
Do you love the Prada wearing, Creed smelling, bunch of roses bearing, clean shaven, just prepared dinner HIM or the 3 day old boxers wearing, needs a hot bath smelling, doesn’t remember it’s your anniversary, always asking what there is to eat HIM?
Or do you love them both?
Again, if love is what brings us together, is it all it takes to keep us together?
“It’s not always rainbows and butterflies, its compromise that moves us along” – Maroon 5 (She will be loved)
**Please feel free to leave your '2 cents' on this issue- Anonymous posts are GREAT! Thanks :-)