Thursday, July 28, 2005


Here’s a list of my all time favorite things & favorite things right now. I believe every girl needs to put these on a check list every year. Something that gives you that extra pep in your step! That makes you feel a lil’ more fabulous than you already are when u wake up ;-)
These things have gotten me through this year so far so good so I thot I’d share. Some of them I’ve acquired and some I have not… those I prefer to call “The reason I get up every morning at 5am to go to work!”
So here they are in no particular order- doing that will be like having kids and having to admit you love one more than the other! (yikes!)

1) A CD- There’s that one cd you hear and it reminds you of a certain time in your life or a certain stage you were in your life. This year, it would be Destiny Fulfilled (DC), Mariah’s “Emancipation…”, Maroon 5’s “Songs about Jane” and what’s on repeat in my cd player rite now is R.Kelly’s (YES I bought a real copy and I have the receipt to prove it) I recommend it to everyone. This CD is way off the hook. My ex-baby daddy has done it again! One advice ladies, if you intend to listen to this constantly, I suggest you get yourself a MAN…before it gets cold. All the songs on this album are too damn sexy. Thank God we only have one weather in Nigeria (oh boy!) ***

2) LUELLA! LUELLA! LUELLA! I will be the first to admit that I didn’t think Ms. Bartley would last in the fashion world. I just thot she was a fad but she’s starting to prove me wrong and I’m glad she did because her stuff is getting more & more fab. If you can’t afford to spring for a bag or wallet rite now. Go and check out MAC! She’s got a line of lip glosses that are too cute and they’re limited edition. And the price is right 14 bucks. ***

3) SMYTHSON Five Year Diary- Every girl needs a journal. It’s a good reference for a time in your life. I love to write down anything and everything (except incriminating activities HA!) so I’m mad about stationery. Smythson is my all time fave. Stuff can be a bit pricey “for just paper” as Himself keeps telling me (what does he know?) and the 5 yr diary is really an investment if u think about it. Think of all the things that could happen in 5 years before you have to buy another one :-)

4) A BOOK- I am constantly reading. I am the only person I know that has read everything that Sidney Sheldon and Jackie Collins have written. I am in my chick-lit phase right now (how long is a phase supposed to last for because it’s been about 2 years) The Shopaholic Series is a must read. ‘Shopaholic and Sister’ is it for me right now. I suggest you read them all…too fun! I am also a ‘Potterhead’ I love HARRY POTTER! The one and only bookstore that released it in Lagos was sold out by the time I got there. I have placed a special order for Harry Potter and The Half-Blood Prince (not advisable if you haven’t read the first 5 books) ***

5) FABULOUS DESIGNER SHOES- Ok I didn’t want to be obvious and make this # 1 but I mean really this is a no-brainer. I wouldn’t even stop at one, make it a bi-weekly affair ;-) I’ve gotten my D&G’s this summer so at least I’m smiling. Since Lagos only affords me the luxury of online shopping I have felt like a caged animal but I think I’m doing pretty well. ***

6) TIFFANY- Every girl needs something from Tiffany. I’ve always said if I’m found dead, I will be found with at least one piece from Tiffany on my person. They have expanded their 1837 collection (my personal favorite) and therefore have inadvertently extended a challenge towards me to expand mine. ***

7) APPLE- I am surrounded by ‘Apple-heads’ all my favorite people love, own, and are obsessed with Apple products so it’s no big surprise that some of it has rubbed off on me. My fave thing now is the special edition U2 IPOD. It’s black and red and stands out plus it’s autographed. Besides Bono is so hot and he’s one of the people I admire most for his philanthropic ways.

8) A BAG- This season! 2 words! CHRISTIAN DIOR! They are going crazy with the flowers (see doctor’s bag to your right- top of article) Oh my goodness! Please go on and join me in salivating over this collection of bags with embroidered flowers. This bag is my personal favorite now. This should get us through a couple of years at almost $1600 a pop!

9) AN ELEGANT TIMEPIECE- The good thing about a watch is that it can last you a couple of years except if you’re like some of us that have an addiction to retail and “Just have to have that!” One that I was obsessed with was Phillip Stein Tesslar (Madonna gave Oprah one and she wore it on every show for one whole season!) You can change the straps and they have this cool chip that alleviates stress (I don’t know about that because my cousin is always on the edge…sorry cuz! :-)
Me! I’m a Movado kinda girl… see I don’t ask for much but I do love RADO ***

10) CHANEL SUNGLASSES- I said CHANEL! Enough said! I mean really do I need to explain this… the goddess of CHANEL will never smile on me again. Get a pair! If only to know what Paris Hilton feels like. I feel invisible in mine. I have the ones I wear all the damn time and then the “special occasion ones” that’s when I want to unleash the “Paris” within lol Mucho gracias (was a gift) My friends love me! ***

*** indicates the checks on my check list.

Tuesday, July 26, 2005


Over the weekend, I was having a conversation with a friend and we started to discuss another friend whose philandering boyfriend’s only requirement for the opposite sex is: BREATHING. Of course I was quick to judge and I jumped into my ‘Destiny’s Child-esque’ mode (on the 2nd album anyway) I was in male-bashing mode, shooting off at the mouth about how she can do bad all by herself and how she needs therapy for low self-esteem.
Then my friend asked me “In this day and age, if you were her, would you leave your man?” and then I shut up. I got to thinking… Would I? This time last year, if you had asked me that question I would’ve given you a straight answer- HELL YES! Today, I don’t know.

See ladies in the last 7 months, I have gradually started to adjust my thinking. I am now in Lagos where the ratio of fine women to any kind of man is a gajillion to one (I exaggerate ;-) but it’s close :-(
My personal thoughts on this phenomenon is that this is part of the “Garden of Eden” curse and part of the conspiracy of course is that those MEN who rewrote history conveniently left out the “outnumbering factor” plus they thought excruiciating child labor made for a better read in the Holy Book (go figure!)

I am getting 'schooled' in the techniques of keeping a man... it is a jungle out there! U either take down or get taken down especially when you have a good one. That's pathetic!

We are all guilty of following our hearts when we fall in love and “persevering” (a nice way of saying we become sh*t takers) but at what point do you stop loving yourself in the name of loving him?

When will you get a break from broken promises, your broken heart, and a broken spirit?
Most importantly if real love means loving someone as much as you love yourself, if the tables were turned, would he be virtuous enough to stay?

In the meantime, I’m still pondering the answer to the question. I still don’t know but this much I do know; Oscar Wilde said it best “To love oneself is the beginning of a life long romance” and ladies no man’s going to love you like you love you but God.
If you do find one though, he's a keeper... hold on tight! There are vultures out there! lol

I'll be back to fully explore the highly over-rated double standards that women are subjected to… (we might have to go back to burning bras!!!)


Picture this- Sitting in my room trying on random outfits. Practicing the golden rule; work the outfit around the shoes and not the other way around. Because a pair of the right fabulous shoes could do a “turn water into wine” type miracle for a dying outfit but the wrong shoes are just downright sinful… I digress…
My “Sex and the City” theme song ring tone goes off…

Me- Hello
Homegirl- “Ok so he just called and I told him how much I love water sports and he just said we should go to some beach sometime soon. What do u think it means?”
Me- Aaaww that’s so sweet…he’s planning for the FUTURE!

And with those very words ladies we have committed what I like to call “potential relationship” suicide.
That conversation was me a couple of years ago. Today; I have a more practical approach when it comes to men. I would simply say to “Homegirl” it just means he wants to take you to the beach on some random Saturday.

I’ve come to find that men are not complicated creatures. They say exactly what they mean. There is no deeper meaning to what any man says. Men only get creative with sexual innuendos and that’s only because he knows you’d sh*t a brick if he said “I want to screw your brains out” during one of the “getting to know you” conversations.
Women read meaning into it all- the deep, intense stares; the “I was just thinking about you” calls that soon stop coming. Guess what honey? In “man-speak” it translates to “I want to screw your brains out!”
There is not a human male of age on this earth who does not have sex on the brains when they meet you. Men are strictly visual creatures acting upon only that which they see. The real feelings from the inside don’t come until later.

Women are idealistic creatures. The moment we meet a guy who can carry more than an hour long conversation, makes us laugh at least 3 times in that hour and shares a minimum of 2 of our “artsy-fartsy” passions like seeing Broadway musicals (or God forbid he likes cartoons!) we start to pick out china patterns or damask colors and name the kids. We girlfriends don’t help either with our psychic abilities. Why are you calling me to decipher what your man said, if I had that ability I’d be too busy to take this call because I’d be “Catering to my man” (we’ll talk about ‘DC’ later for setting the Women’s Liberation Movement back another 50 years…or did they?)

Bottom line- stop putting these men on pedestals. Take every word literally. “I’ll call you later” does not translate to “I’ll call you in 5 minutes”. It could be 5 hours, hell it could be 5 days! They are men! It’s not that deep for them. STOP! Picking up the phone to check for a dial tone! STOP! Using your cell phone to call your land line to check if it’s disconnected. Take your mind off him and get to color coding your closet.
He’s so into you right now. I don’t know about tomorrow, he doesn’t know either (He’s a man!)

Take him off that pedestal you’ve put him on in your mind and stop expecting so much when so little has been said. Maybe you wouldn’t have to utter the words “He just wasn’t that into me” (Who’s he not to be anyway with your fabulous self)
There, I just saved you $20 bucks or $200 an hour on a couch!
Now if only I could take my own advice…

“Love is a gross exaggeration of the difference between one person and everybody else”- George Bernard Shaw

Tuesday, July 19, 2005


Celebration on Friday night was BANANAS! Yes we go out almost every Friday night however, this Friday night was different- I was drinking! Two things happened on Friday night. First, I remembered why I stopped drinking in the first place and secondly, I remembered why I started drinking in the first place. Oh my goodness I forgot how much fun I can be when I’m ‘under the influence’ I also forgot how ‘ballsy’ I become when the juice is flowing in my veins. I have been told I don’t need to drink to be “off the hook” and I agree. I did say to myself when I was getting dressed that I was having one drink…but two margaritas and two glasses of the house ‘red’ later at Saipan and I was in my element!

Needless to say I did need the energy because everybody and their grandmamma were out on Friday night. Bacchus was so jam-packed; we were practically stepping over each other’s heads in the VIP section. They say it’s a fire hazard waiting to happen, I say I’d rather die looking pretty and partying up a storm in my best shoes (ok! ok! I kid…I kid!) It was tons of fun and shout out to the DJ at Bacchus who had us dancing a hole into the floor till 5am in the morning!

Thanks to the generous gentlemen who kept me in my ‘element’ by keeping my glass full always.
Thanks B, because my excuse for going out after I had sworn off clubbing for a month was that it was your birthday.
A special thank you to my fabulous shoes and my pedicured feet for not giving way and embarrassing me till it was time to go home. (I just managed to maintain my strut till we got into the car) I still haven't regained feeling in my little toe (I think it might be dead).
A BIG THANK YOU to those that have read this blog and have encouraged me and think it’s funny??? Hmmm… thanks a lot (Smooches) xxx

**This one's dedicated to 'the one' who stole my phrase & my .....
("It's my world, I just let y'all live in it")

Thursday, July 14, 2005


I've always taken that quote for granted. I can honestly say that I know now the feeling of euphoria which Martin Luther King Jr. (God rest his soul) meant for us to feel at the utterance of these words.

I am happy to announce that no longer will I be sitting at my desk feigning "typing up reports" YES! People... I have a new job. One with "real" responsibilities.
I am more excited that I will be working in an area that is truly my passion and something that I want to do with my life (not necessarily as a paying job). Miss Oprah would be so so proud of me.

I want to thank those that have listened as I have "bitched" month after month and hope that now I will call and talk about how fulfilled I am in my new position.

My cousin, my sister, my best friend... you're phenomenal. Every woman should take a page from your book. You're truly an inspiration.
Thank you for words of encouragement and for allowing me to realize when one door closes, it always best to look for an open window instead of giving up.

Of course I will be back after a weekend of CELEBRATING... and oh yeah my "no drinking policy" (yeah I recently gave up drinking... that's a whole 'nother story)
is taking a hiatus in commemoration of this EVENT... Partying begins at Happy Hour Friday evening. T.G.I.F!!!
Of course I will be sharing more of my experiences with all you wonderful people. I just needed an outlet for all this excitement.
More as and when....

P.S. Those are the designated partying shoes for tomorrow...yeah baby!!!

"Never be bullied into silence, never allow youself to be made a victim. Accept no one's definition of your life; DEFINE YOURSELF!" - Harvey Fierstein

Tuesday, July 12, 2005


Ok so I am a sista who’s down for the cause. Go Black Brothers! Do your thing! Stay out of jail! Go to college! Raise our kids! Down with baby mama drama! GOOD? OK!
I have loved R. Kelly since the first day I saw him ‘Bumpin & Grindin’ (you know the video) I don’t think what I was feeling back then was natural for a young; pre-pubescent Christian girl (ahem!) I could have sworn up and down that R. Kelly and I were meant to be together. It was kismet… that was then.
This is now… I have a couple of bones to pick with Robert. I know the brotha’s trying to stash away some change just in case he needs to go away for a while but what is up with making 4 songs out of the same song. ‘R’ just put a whole new twist on recycling music.

Has anyone not noticed that “Step in the name of Love”; “Step in the name of Love- the remix”; ‘Happy People’ and very recently 2 new songs I heard on the radio a couple of days ago are ALL the same SONG? Same track laced with different lyrics. I mean talk about getting your money’s worth!
When ‘Happy People’ was released, I thought to myself “Ok this will be the last one, he can’t fool these people forever” but noooo apparently I give people way too much credit. People are still bumping to these songs like “Uuuh that’s R .Kelly’s new joint!” New joint? You’ve heard this song 3 times already!

Don’t get me wrong. I love R. Kelly and until I was opportune to meet my current baby daddy Boris Kodjoe (more to come on “our” relationship), R. Kelly was definitely the father of my kids… well I did have my eyes on a few others, Will, Morris, Shemar, Blair, Michael Ealy, Adam Rodriguez(cutie from CSI: Miami)… ok so I digress. Excuse me a sec while I wipe the drool off my keyboard. I’ll be sure to share my “Baby Daddy list a.k.a my list of “Men who can tap that” (whaat??)

Anyway I was there jammin’ when ‘Twelve Play’ was released and I will be getting a copy of TP3:Reloaded and I promise to get a real copy this time of course after I sample the one I buy in traffic on the bridge (We all know Nigeria is Bootleg Central)
In the meantime… R! Babey! You are a powerhouse with an infinite reservoir of talent, you’re going to do for R&B what Tupac did for hip-hop. You may leave us but your works will outlive you so lay off on the 4 song minimum on a track…
And if things with Boris don’t work out… I’ll give u a call ;-)

Monday, July 11, 2005


Almost everyone has had to answer the age-old question“what would you come back as in another life?” While most people give philosophical answers like a cheetah for its speed and agility or an eagle for its ability to soar to unreachable heights. I on the other hand, want to return as a pair of fabulous display shoes. I’ll explain; I say display shoes for only one intensive purpose. Some shoes are works of art. I just want to buy them and put them up in my closet and never wear them. I don’t want to be a practical shoe that will have to be ground continuously on the floor or God forbid step into some “dog doo-doo”. I want to be put on a pedestal and appreciated.

By now u must know surely I have an unhealthy obsession with shoes. When I buy a new pair of shoes I have what I like to call ‘the breaking in ceremony’ in which I wear them around the house for about a week. I wear them with my PJ’s; I strut in them while I’m exfoliating and cleansing; going down to get a drink of water; sit and talk on the phone while I dangle my feet and admire how good they look with my nail polish (u get the picture) I put my shoes together with all kinds of outfits in my head. I’ve been known to toss and turn in bed just imagining what I would look like in a pair of new shoes or what my “strut” would convey to all those watching.

Now the ladies know what I’m talking about. Describing the rush from the perfect pair of shoes to a man is pointless…u can practically see their eyes glaze over from lack of understanding as u explain to them how much longer your legs look. As I’ve tried to explain to “Himself” countless number of times; trying to justify a recent acquisition of the perfect Dolce & Gabbana (black pumps, criss-cross (one black, one flower print), the perfect heel) shoes kindly bestowed upon me by a “bestie” of mine on a recent shopping escapade in Edinburgh ( I luv u B!) He didn’t understand why I needed $400 shoes but a TV for a $1000 makes more sense to him (roite!).

The particular shoes I aspire to be; change with the seasons. I like to think of it as my own personal evolvement in style and of course in life. This season, my choice- Beige- Patent leather- Manolo Blahnik- Mary Janes! Absolutely lovely…perfect color; perfect form; 3 1/2 inch heels…goes with everything! I imagine it with jeans, a tee & pearls or with “the little black dress” or with a skirt… the possibilities are limitless.

Mr. Blahnik himself said it best; "Women should always transform themselves, and shoes are instant transformation, "Plus, a dress is more elaborate and expensive than a pair of shoes.”
So there see… if Mr. Blahnik said it, then surely my addiction can’t be that bad… I think.


WELCOME! I have just "popped my blogging cherry" In my decision to do this, the following thots have crossed my mind. Why would I put my thots on display for everyone to see? Does anyone really give a rat's ass what my thots are? Ultimately I have come to the conclusion that this is an outlet for me so as not to lose what is left of my ever-loving mind. See the thing is.. I have recently made "the move" back home to Nigeria. In these last 7 months, though I have always questioned my sanity, I have come to the conclusion that I am truly insane (most of the time anyway) Why would I leave civilized society & return to absolute chaos & anarchy.. a totally unstructured society where the response to the most hideous things is "That's Nigeria for you!"
I STILL LOVE IT THOUGH and wouldn't trade this for anything else in the world...on most days.

Maybe this will give more insight to my friends & acquaintances on that crazy look I get in my eyes. Maybe I won't go completely mad...maybe I already am. All I know is.. this is fun and while my manager thinks that I am typing away furiously at that report that needs to be on her desk before the end of the week, inside I feel justified for the "meager pocket money" that I get paid as a "youth corper" (that's for a whole 'nother day)
Welcome.. to the confessions of a truly twisted mind..