FOUR WHAT??

My whole entire life has been reduced to FOUR letters. Because of this one four letter word;
W-O-R-K, all I seem to utter now are sentences like “F**K! I can’t believe it’s morning again” “S**T these numbers aren’t balanced AGAIN!! “I CAN’T make it because I have to WORK!” I have BAGS because I LACK sleep. The worst part is; now that NYSC is over, I have to do this 5 days a week. The only good thing in my life that the number 4 symbolized is gone that is my FOUR day work week.

I know now that my dreams in business school of been a highly motivated, up and coming career woman in CORPORATE ….(wherever the hell I live, u fill in the blanks), with my power PRADA HEELS (PRADA always seems to be the footwear of choice in these dreams & real life on TV ;-) and my LV briefcase and let’s not forget the all important POWER, tweed, skirt suit (not that I would be caught dead in tweed or a skirt suit in Lagos) actually I would be dead because if I did wear tweed in Lagos, I would drop dead from heat stroke that is if my very own personal FASHION S.O.R.T TEAM aka my friends (U know yourselves) doesn’t snipe me first…lol

Anyway I digress…right! So my dreams are becoming hazy. I’m beginning to ask myself what the point of all this is. Is this what my life is going to be for the next say 30-40 years? Waking up before God every morning and spending over half a day at a desk? I realized this weekend that I never actually bask in the sun. Forget the fact that I run from the sun like I’m a vampire that’s purely for vanity sake….wrinkles, fine lines, crow’s feet etc. But then I’m at work before the sun comes up and out of there way after it goes down. Before I know it, I’ll look back on my life and I would have spent most of it with my computer and telephone.

I’m beginning to see myself as more of an entrepreneur. In my westernized trad, dropping the kids off at school after making sure they eat breakfast. Home in time to make dinner for my husband (God bless the unlucky bastard lol) I want that freedom to be able to do the things that I WANT to do, WHEN I NEED to do them. Take a vacation without filling out a book worth of paper work only to be turned down by some JACKASS!

I have a new found respect for full time working mothers. I don’t even want to speak to anyone after my 12 hour work day. The thought that I might not be able to talk to my kids about their days and help them with homework or even be home before they get to bed is scary and I know a lot of upwardly mobile women might disagree with me but it’s a matter of preference and choice. I choose for my life to be about my children. I’ve always felt that children don’t belong to us but God makes us custodians of his children. If there’s one thing I intend to give my all in my lifetime, it is my kids. I never thought I’d get to a place where motherhood would mean so much to me considering the fact that kids are like kryptonite to me… they just make me nervous and drain all my energy.

Anyway I am open to business ideas and ready to explore my options.
In the meantime, I’m here on a Saturday afternoon, wondering who in the hell I needed to have slipped a $100 bill or two in heaven to have been born the third Hilton sister!