Sunday, April 05, 2015

Paving a New Road: The Journey to Self Discovery

“Courage is not the absence of fear but the ability to do something while you are still afraid”. - Anonymous

 **I wrote this in December 2011**

 I’ve heard it said a few times that the man that you marry in your 20’s is not the same man you’d marry in your 30’s. Fortunately for me that reality hit me (literally) before I hit my 30’s. Fine, it is in the twilight of my 20’s but nevertheless I am filled with gratitude.

 In the last few years, a lot of things died inside of me. I was living my life in a catatonic state. I watched life pass me by while I chose to stay stuck because I was caught up in a dogmatic society and what would be thought of me if I dared to defy the norm. There is nothing more satisfying than throwing a few choice fingers up to everything in your life that is destructive, disparaging, and mentally, emotionally and possibly physically unhealthy. Of all the fingers I have given in my life (and I have given my fair share and then some) nothing has been more bittersweet.
 Everyday is a new day and I am reacquainting myself with who I am. Everyday it gets a little less hazy and it probably will be the most intense and gruelling time of my life but I look forward to each day with a revived hope that I have not felt in a very long time.
It does help that I like me (seriously, have we met? I’m f*ckin’ awesome) ☺

 One of my rediscovered passions is my writing. I have had some amazing support in the last couple of months and one of the things I have been encouraged to do is to start doing what I love so much again and my first question was “What am I going to write about? I’m so lost”. The answer was “Just write what you know”. What I know is my life and the experiences that have shaped and formed who I have become.

So coming from a place of such extreme privacy and reclusion especially in the last few years, I am closing my eyes, taking a deep breath, feeling the fear, and jumping off this cliff with my eyes closed.

I will be living my life out loud on these pages not because I particularly enjoy putting my business out there but I hope that my words make you smile, laugh, provoke and challenge your thinking as well as mine.

More than anything else, I hope they make you silence the world and choose yourself just like I did.

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