I've heard people say "God is a woman" usually Women's Lib, bra-burning types. I have no opinions on this really. But I can tell you this much; while I lay on the massage table at the spa this evening getting a Brazillian. I had alot of time to think... ALOT.
Apart from thoughts such as " Who the hell sent me?", " I'm sure this b*tc# is doing this on purpose" etc. This was of course when I wasn't screaming asking God where His or Her face was when I needed him/her the most (l0l)
Anyway my thoughts were on reasons I know that God is not a woman.
1) Starting with the catalyst to all this. Obviously, she won't have created the "Brazillian wax" or the act of waxing itself. Maybe she won't have put hair in the most inconvenient of places, maybe she would have struck down whoever came up with the notion that hair in certain places is not generally acceptable in society.
2) She would definitely not let us outnumber these men, reason been, she knows if they're not useful for anything else at all, at least they come in handy for procreation purposes. Maybe if she IS a she, she is creating more of us to take over the world. I doubt that because she would have zapped the chauvinsitic men who made up all these oppressing laws and points of view that demoralize and degrade women all over the world (Weapon of zappment: lightning bolt preferred)
3) IF God were a woman, Oprah would definitely be president... of the WORLD!! (ok like u didn't see that one coming)
4) Men would definitely have their turn with child bearing.
5) They would sooo get periods, cramps, bloating, hormonal changes and all the stuff we go through every month.
Friday, June 30, 2006
AM I THERE YET???
It's been a while and with good reason... W-O-R-K!!! I didn't stop writing I just don't have anytime to post them. This blog I wrote on my birthday a couple of weekends ago and if it's the only one I get up, I promise I'll make more time to blog this weekend.
Here's goes...
Your homegirl turned twenty... (ahem) today.
They say life is a journey, others argue that its a destination. Personally, I think both theories are symbiotic as opposed to been exclusive of each other. How do you embark on a journey without a destination? How do you get to a destination without a journey?
Life for me is a journey in a car.
The only constant is I don't know my destination. Or if I'll ever get there.
Sometimes there are pit-stops along this journey that we know we all have to make. There's the graduations, failures, successes, new careers, relationships, marriage?? parenthood?? blah blah... I've stopped at most of these; some I care for and some I'd like to chock up to extended periods of brain farts.
Sometimes I've switched cars in my journey through life. I've driven a Maserati on cruise control and I've driven a broken down VW Beetle. I've driven with the top down and the wind blowing through my hair in perfect weather and I've driven through storms with my "hands in the air, and the feet on the gas". There've been bumps, curves, head-on collissions and through it all I don't think I'd take back one moment. I wish I'd known better or maybe I did and just decided to do it anyway. Whatever the case the whole point of this rant is the stage that I haven't gotten to yet. Marriage and Motherhood. The 2 'M's!!!
My girls know me. I don't care much for either of the two especially the latter. I don't know why but my maternal instincts are non-existent. I detest children! YES! I have confessed it to the world and you can pick your jaw up off your keyboard now. I HATE CHILDREN!! Can't stand them, never have, don't think I ever will. I've heard it all from "when you have yours, you'll feel differently" to "You are a witch, my children will never come to your house" to which my response is always "Ah ah" (with an offended look on my face) and in my mind I'm thinking "Good cos that way you might get to keep the lil' gremlins around longer cos I'd kill 'em" lol Ok I realize that maybe in a few years, I might come back and read this and think How could I?? But I've felt this way for so long that I don't know when this will change.
I mean can someone please tell me the joys of having children PlEaSe?
You carry them for 9 MONTHS!! that's like one whole year! You get sick all the time, you're hormonal and can't control your emotions, you gain weight, you get stretch marks, there are some muscles that will never be the same again (ahem useful muscles I might add) and that's all before they get here!!
Then they get here and you don't stop spending, it doesn't end when they turn 18, even when they are fully capable of fending for themselves, they find a way of milking you of what you have left (ask my mother, she has one (lets not focus on that) UUUH and then they have the nerve to talk back at you???
Uuh I can't handle it!! lol ok so you're beginning to see where my twisted mind is coming from.
The man upstairs, the big G himself, however has a sense of humor. I am always the one sitting next to a child on the plane, at the movie theater... imagine the most arbitrary place you can find a child, as soon as I walk in there, GOD plants one of them in there just to make me lose my mind!
Children adore me! They are drawn to me. I think it's because I talk to them in proper English instead of the ever faithful "Put ur teddy-tietie in the buggy-wuggy" (whats that about??) but some people think it's cute.
In my defense, I like babies, I luv babies (other people's cos u can play with them all u want and then give them back)
Notice how I just left the other 'M' alone cos I don't think this blog allows for that much space.
My thing is, am I ever gonna get there? If so, when? And the scarier question that I'm avoiding is what if I never get to that place where I want these things? I know how society frowns upon single, childless women that might be fully accomplished in all other areas of their life.
In as much of a rebel as I pride myself to be, is this a fight I want to take on?
I guess I'll have to see as time goes on.
If you haven't gained/learned anything from this blog at least you know who NOT to call when you need a babysitting favor.
Dogs are more my thing!
Here's goes...
Your homegirl turned twenty... (ahem) today.
They say life is a journey, others argue that its a destination. Personally, I think both theories are symbiotic as opposed to been exclusive of each other. How do you embark on a journey without a destination? How do you get to a destination without a journey?
Life for me is a journey in a car.
The only constant is I don't know my destination. Or if I'll ever get there.
Sometimes there are pit-stops along this journey that we know we all have to make. There's the graduations, failures, successes, new careers, relationships, marriage?? parenthood?? blah blah... I've stopped at most of these; some I care for and some I'd like to chock up to extended periods of brain farts.
Sometimes I've switched cars in my journey through life. I've driven a Maserati on cruise control and I've driven a broken down VW Beetle. I've driven with the top down and the wind blowing through my hair in perfect weather and I've driven through storms with my "hands in the air, and the feet on the gas". There've been bumps, curves, head-on collissions and through it all I don't think I'd take back one moment. I wish I'd known better or maybe I did and just decided to do it anyway. Whatever the case the whole point of this rant is the stage that I haven't gotten to yet. Marriage and Motherhood. The 2 'M's!!!
My girls know me. I don't care much for either of the two especially the latter. I don't know why but my maternal instincts are non-existent. I detest children! YES! I have confessed it to the world and you can pick your jaw up off your keyboard now. I HATE CHILDREN!! Can't stand them, never have, don't think I ever will. I've heard it all from "when you have yours, you'll feel differently" to "You are a witch, my children will never come to your house" to which my response is always "Ah ah" (with an offended look on my face) and in my mind I'm thinking "Good cos that way you might get to keep the lil' gremlins around longer cos I'd kill 'em" lol Ok I realize that maybe in a few years, I might come back and read this and think How could I?? But I've felt this way for so long that I don't know when this will change.
I mean can someone please tell me the joys of having children PlEaSe?
You carry them for 9 MONTHS!! that's like one whole year! You get sick all the time, you're hormonal and can't control your emotions, you gain weight, you get stretch marks, there are some muscles that will never be the same again (ahem useful muscles I might add) and that's all before they get here!!
Then they get here and you don't stop spending, it doesn't end when they turn 18, even when they are fully capable of fending for themselves, they find a way of milking you of what you have left (ask my mother, she has one (lets not focus on that) UUUH and then they have the nerve to talk back at you???
Uuh I can't handle it!! lol ok so you're beginning to see where my twisted mind is coming from.
The man upstairs, the big G himself, however has a sense of humor. I am always the one sitting next to a child on the plane, at the movie theater... imagine the most arbitrary place you can find a child, as soon as I walk in there, GOD plants one of them in there just to make me lose my mind!
Children adore me! They are drawn to me. I think it's because I talk to them in proper English instead of the ever faithful "Put ur teddy-tietie in the buggy-wuggy" (whats that about??) but some people think it's cute.
In my defense, I like babies, I luv babies (other people's cos u can play with them all u want and then give them back)
Notice how I just left the other 'M' alone cos I don't think this blog allows for that much space.
My thing is, am I ever gonna get there? If so, when? And the scarier question that I'm avoiding is what if I never get to that place where I want these things? I know how society frowns upon single, childless women that might be fully accomplished in all other areas of their life.
In as much of a rebel as I pride myself to be, is this a fight I want to take on?
I guess I'll have to see as time goes on.
If you haven't gained/learned anything from this blog at least you know who NOT to call when you need a babysitting favor.
Dogs are more my thing!
Friday, June 09, 2006
BAG IT!!
It’s been a while but I’m back.
It took this bag to bring me out of my blogging slumber and got me drooling like a St. Bernard (though I would not drool anywhere near this bag). In these extremely excruciating times for women with limited means with a ‘taste’ for the very FINER things in life, designers are just taking the p*ss.
In the last couple of seasons, I’ve had to deal with Luella, and then Balenciaga (It was very painful for me that Nicky Hilton was toting them about like they were buy one get one free, I’ve seen her with at least 8 different ones and she’s reported to have at least 20) then there was the Paddington phase which I don’t see what the big deal is about the bag but since everyone wanted one, I publicly chastised it but in my heart just between u & I, I thot it’d be cool to own one. What can I say? I’m faddy… SUE ME! Then came the Fendi SPY bag. I’m a Fendi kinda girl. Well I’m a ------- girl of a lot of things as you might have noticed if you’ve read any of my entries. But anyway Fendi has wowed me once again.
This “MAGNIFICENT TAN CREATURE” (My girls know what I’m talking about lol) is the FENDI SELLERIA TOTE. At $2300, it’s going to go on my long-term (tediously lengthy) wish list. The detailing is just to die for. It’s so understated but just SCREAMS CLASSY, SASSY, FIERCE!! I love the horse and strap and buckle embossments.
Oh to be a Hilton!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)