Friday, June 30, 2006

WHAT IF GOD WAS ONE OF US?

I've heard people say "God is a woman" usually Women's Lib, bra-burning types. I have no opinions on this really. But I can tell you this much; while I lay on the massage table at the spa this evening getting a Brazillian. I had alot of time to think... ALOT.
Apart from thoughts such as " Who the hell sent me?", " I'm sure this b*tc# is doing this on purpose" etc. This was of course when I wasn't screaming asking God where His or Her face was when I needed him/her the most (l0l)
Anyway my thoughts were on reasons I know that God is not a woman.

1) Starting with the catalyst to all this. Obviously, she won't have created the "Brazillian wax" or the act of waxing itself. Maybe she won't have put hair in the most inconvenient of places, maybe she would have struck down whoever came up with the notion that hair in certain places is not generally acceptable in society.
2) She would definitely not let us outnumber these men, reason been, she knows if they're not useful for anything else at all, at least they come in handy for procreation purposes. Maybe if she IS a she, she is creating more of us to take over the world. I doubt that because she would have zapped the chauvinsitic men who made up all these oppressing laws and points of view that demoralize and degrade women all over the world (Weapon of zappment: lightning bolt preferred)
3) IF God were a woman, Oprah would definitely be president... of the WORLD!! (ok like u didn't see that one coming)
4) Men would definitely have their turn with child bearing.
5) They would sooo get periods, cramps, bloating, hormonal changes and all the stuff we go through every month.

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