THERE’S SOMETHING ABOUT MARY…

Ladies! Ladies! Let him know he’s got your love… look him right in his eyes and tell him…
We’ve been
Too strong for too long (and I can't be without you baby)
And I'll be waiting up until you get home (cuz I can't sleep without you baby)
Anybody who's ever loved, ya know just what I feel
Too hard to fake it, nothing can replace it
Call the radio if you just can't be without your baby

Oh my goodness! I was a fair weather fan of MJB until this album. Not that she ever went away but if I had to define this album in limited terms, I would say this is her “COMEBACK” album. This is by far my favorite Mary album and as you can tell “Be Without You” has gotta be the song of the year (for now) The words just convey, passion, lust, love, the haters, the triumph of love when you allow it to be the one and only underlying factor in all the drama that is the relationship of woman and man.

Chemistry was crazy from the get-go
Neither one of us knew why
We didn't build nothing overnight
Cuz a love like this takes some time
People swore it off as a phase
Said we can't see that
Now from top to bottom
They see that we did that (yes)
It's so true that (yes)
We've been through it (yes)
We got real sh** (yes)
See baby we been...
Too strong…

Most importantly THE TRUTH- which is unconditional love is far from perfect in fact, it’s a sh*t storm but once you make up your mind to be with someone and know in your heart that you truly love them, then all that matters is that person and making sure that it works. Forget what your girls think, forget what the world says or the “If I were you… NEVER! I won’t take that” chorus! DO YOU!
Only u 2 know what you’ve got going on it’s not for the world to decide it’s for you to decide. Everyone always knows what’s good for u, if they know so much why are they not in relationships or why are their relationships just as dysfunctional?
I’ll be the first to say thank God for girlfriends.
However, while it’s great to get the opinion of someone who is outside of your situation, its great to keep in mind that people also have their own baggage and biases which they tend to inadvertently tie into the advice given.

See this is real talk I'ma always stay (no matter what)
Good or bad (thick and thin)
Right or wrong (all day everyday)
Now if you're down on love or don't believe
This ain't for you (no, this ain't for you)
And if you got it deep in your heart
And deep down you know that it's true (come on, come on, come on)
Well, let me see you put your hands up (hands up)
Fellas tell your lady she's the one (fellas tell your lady she's the one, oh)
Put your hands up (hands up)
Ladies let him know he's got your love
Look him right in his eyes and tell him
We've been...
Too strong…

Not all love lasts forever but if it makes you genuinely happy in that moment then I say go for it and revel in that love. Self-love is foremost in loving someone else.
As SJP said in her last monologue of Sex & the city, about relationships, "There are those that open you up to something new and exotic, those that are old and familiar, those that bring up lots of questions, those that bring you somewhere unexpected, those that bring you far from where you started, and those that bring you back. But the most exciting, challenging and significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself. And if you find someone to love the you you love, well, that's just fabulous!"

And if you can’t be without him, swallow that pride, I don’t know about calling the radio but give that man a BUZZ! Let him know he’s got your love!

FOUR WHAT??

My whole entire life has been reduced to FOUR letters. Because of this one four letter word;
W-O-R-K, all I seem to utter now are sentences like “F**K! I can’t believe it’s morning again” “S**T these numbers aren’t balanced AGAIN!! “I CAN’T make it because I have to WORK!” I have BAGS because I LACK sleep. The worst part is; now that NYSC is over, I have to do this 5 days a week. The only good thing in my life that the number 4 symbolized is gone that is my FOUR day work week.

I know now that my dreams in business school of been a highly motivated, up and coming career woman in CORPORATE ….(wherever the hell I live, u fill in the blanks), with my power PRADA HEELS (PRADA always seems to be the footwear of choice in these dreams & real life on TV ;-) and my LV briefcase and let’s not forget the all important POWER, tweed, skirt suit (not that I would be caught dead in tweed or a skirt suit in Lagos) actually I would be dead because if I did wear tweed in Lagos, I would drop dead from heat stroke that is if my very own personal FASHION S.O.R.T TEAM aka my friends (U know yourselves) doesn’t snipe me first…lol

Anyway I digress…right! So my dreams are becoming hazy. I’m beginning to ask myself what the point of all this is. Is this what my life is going to be for the next say 30-40 years? Waking up before God every morning and spending over half a day at a desk? I realized this weekend that I never actually bask in the sun. Forget the fact that I run from the sun like I’m a vampire that’s purely for vanity sake….wrinkles, fine lines, crow’s feet etc. But then I’m at work before the sun comes up and out of there way after it goes down. Before I know it, I’ll look back on my life and I would have spent most of it with my computer and telephone.

I’m beginning to see myself as more of an entrepreneur. In my westernized trad, dropping the kids off at school after making sure they eat breakfast. Home in time to make dinner for my husband (God bless the unlucky bastard lol) I want that freedom to be able to do the things that I WANT to do, WHEN I NEED to do them. Take a vacation without filling out a book worth of paper work only to be turned down by some JACKASS!

I have a new found respect for full time working mothers. I don’t even want to speak to anyone after my 12 hour work day. The thought that I might not be able to talk to my kids about their days and help them with homework or even be home before they get to bed is scary and I know a lot of upwardly mobile women might disagree with me but it’s a matter of preference and choice. I choose for my life to be about my children. I’ve always felt that children don’t belong to us but God makes us custodians of his children. If there’s one thing I intend to give my all in my lifetime, it is my kids. I never thought I’d get to a place where motherhood would mean so much to me considering the fact that kids are like kryptonite to me… they just make me nervous and drain all my energy.

Anyway I am open to business ideas and ready to explore my options.
In the meantime, I’m here on a Saturday afternoon, wondering who in the hell I needed to have slipped a $100 bill or two in heaven to have been born the third Hilton sister!

RUMOR HAS IT...

**I haven't written in such a long time... Happy New Year even though we're 2 months in. I'm back and ready to go. This blog is actually one that I co-wrote with my friend (Low) after seeing the movie "Rumor Has it" with her man about a month ago.
Laziness had me procrastinating putting it up but here it is...Enjoy!**

Picture this.... A man loves a woman and cheats; He expects to be forgiven because even in the moment of infidelity, he never for once doubted he love for his leading lady. Flip the script, a woman loves her man, and then cheats...Ok so what Bungalow in "HELL" would she be residing in. This brings me to the movie "Rumor has it" and the many ways it has been perceived.

I decided to co-authorize this entry with a friend of mine. Saw the movie with her and you can imagine how defensive we were about the issue with the Mr.

MY POINT OF VIEW: The hero=JEFF, the husband-to be. Despite the fact that he had his heart stepped up by Jennifer Aniston's character, He decided to curb his pride and realize that what really mattered was how he felt about her. Sitting in the movie theater with a bunch of Nigerian men only made me realize that it would almost seem impossible for a Nigerian man to forgive a woman who would "dream" of doing such act.
Hero # 2= Jennifer Aniston's Dad, who decided to hear all about his wife's escapades but still took her back because he knew what she had with BB was her quest for adventure and not true love.

A typical man finds out his lady cheats and "bammm" comes the ego. He feels he is being laughed at. His feels his reputation is at stake. He wants to get even. Never for once does he realize that mistakes happen and that the two parties can see past the mistake and move on with their lives from there. Of ten times we are so drowned in elusion that we must keep up to a standard that society would accept i.e. "NO NONSENSE PERSON" We forget to step outside our supposed perfect lives and realize that shit happens but it's the way situations are handled that makes us better pple!

Any man who is able to shelf his ego and face what is at stake (his heart) is a true hero to me. Any man who realizes that "shit happens" and can move on from the situation deserves a standing ovation. As you can see I am not even trying to think about what a girl would go through because case be reversed....WE KNOW HOW TO HOLD OUR OWN!....Majority forgive and move the hell on.(sub-conscious thought, "so if that's wat we (ladies) have to go through, why can't men bend over for us )
To conclude it all. Rumor has it.....................

Miss E's point of view...
As I've always said "real love" only exists in the movies. In 'Rumor Has It...' home-girl Jennifer's been caught red handed kissing on the sexy older man by her fiancé, lover-boy asks "Did you sleep with him?" (Hmm Low this is beginning to sound oh so familiar...lol) and she says YES!!! She then goes on to apologize and he says "Walk out of here with me and marry me rite now and all will be forgotten" and she just stands there and lets him leave because she wasn't sure if that was Mr. Right. Of course she goes back and he says NO and she leaves and then he shows up and takes him in her arms and (all together now) they lived happily ever after. I guess the test audience that the studio got during the test screening wasn't having the 'Nigerian Ending' version. In which case, the movie would have ended where JenJen and 'Sexy older man' were caught kissing because had Jeff been Bayo, it would have been a blood bath up in that b*tch!!

My question is why isn't it possible for a man to forgive a woman's indiscretions? The double standard is so blatant it reeks like a dead rat that died of eating rotten eggs. On getting a man's point of view, Low's MR. was the voice of the male species in this discussion as Himself is on hiatus too busy being a MAN rite now. MR. seems to think that it's ok for a guy to cheat because... get this ladies... he forgets the experience as soon as he's done-Wham Bam Thank you Ma'am! But in our case, he says females are more of a Wham Bam Thank you Ma'am.... How has this changed my life, will I be able to move one? Might this be my true love instead of the he-goat I'm marrying next June? I'm sorry... when did we start to rate cheating according to the degree of afterthought? Doubts or no doubts...don't we all have our weak moments? Infact if men say women are the lesser creatures, should we not be the ones that are more susceptible to cheating? Therefore, should the roles not be reversed? Should our sexual indiscretions not be just as forgivable as our fellow man?

All in all Rumor Has It was a great movie, Shirley Mclaine (I can't even call her the grandmother cos I'm scared she might show up and take a shot at me) stole the show. She was the show.
I'm a firm believer in the fact that the biggest part of love is forgiveness and this movie is the embodiment of that fact. Putting all external elements aside the egos, he said-she said, the angry words and actions, and stripping your self of all the hurt and letting the only thing that counts take over- you, him and LOVE. Like I always say, it brings you together but it's not what keeps you together but those things that do keep you together still come down to one thing and one thing only.... YUP! It all comes down to love.
Miss E over & out!

CONFESSIONS OF A SHOEAHOLIC III

According to the stories we've read and heard, Eve got herself and Adam thrown out of the Garden of Eden because she gave into the temptation of taking a bite out of the forbidden fruit/apple. I've often found myself wondering, if I were Eve, in what form would my tempation have come? No prizes for guessing.

I can imagine that the devil would have had a blast trying to tempt me because as the seasons pass, so would what he would have to come up with. Infact he'd be shopping so much that you might have me to thank for world peace.

This season- ladies and gentlemen I present to you my forbidden fruit. If he were tempting me this season he would have had to come has these Brian Atwood lace d'orsay pumps!! My goodness! Pure class. Very understated elegance...but oozing with class and so much sassiness. Now there's a strut I can imagine already.

Only issue is unlike Eve who was generous enough to share her apple with Adam, I will not be sharing my fruit with Himself. Infact the closest he will get to these babies is when he pays for them; not that I advocate for been a kept woman but hey if the shoe fits... then who am I not to put them on!

Really you must check out the Brian Atwood collection at Saks. Shoes are to die for... maybe even good enough to kill for (I'll let you be the judge of that)

"If a woman rebels against high-heeled shoes, she should take care to do it in a very smart hat". - George Bernard Shaw

RANDOM MINDLESS THOTS!

My week has come to an end. Those of you that know me know I have a 4 day work week and am very much looking forward to the weekend. I asked Himself out on a date. I want to take him to the movies tomorrow. I really wanted to see "In Her Shoes" (since my girls sold out and saw it without me) but then he gave me this look like I asked him to join a blood sucking cult or something so I guess 'The Legend of Zorro" it is then! He agreed and then in turn told me we'll also go on his date to 'Thistle Bar' since they are supposed to have the best fresh fish pepper soup this sice of the hemisphere.
Knowing us either one of two things will happen it'll end up been a group activity since I end up begging his friends to come with us and he doesn't mind or we most probably will end up on the couch playing "Soul Calibur II", hi-fiving each other everytime we kick Inferno's ass, complete the mission and open up a new character (as people shake their heads and make pitiful noises) and order Chinese at 2am in the morning like we did last Saturday nite... they just don't get it!!

I don't think we'll be motivated to go to the movies until King Kong is released. I can't wait. I LOVE KING KONG!! The old version is my fave movie of all time... well as a child it was. He loves Peter Jackson cos of the LOTR trilogy and I love the errr...Kong? (yes! the gorilla and I are on a first name basis)

Ok so I really have nothing to say since I've had a long and exhausting week.
Let me say though that Nigerians have got to be the most 'special" as in SPECIAL ED, rode the short bus kinda way- people that I have had the unfortunate pleasure of working with in my life. Just when u think human beings can't be dumber... BAM! One just takes it up another level and surprises the hell outta u! Can u say S-P-A-S-T-I-C!! cos I'm not sure I can spell it.
They come at you with stuff like "The sun is shining so it's bright outside"- NO SH*T Sherlock! I would have never guessed the sun would be out. What's it doing out there at 2pm in the FREAKING AFTERNOON!! AAARRRGHH!

I gave in! I couldn't read the Patricia Scanlan book... Double Wedding.. apart from the obvious title that gives me the heebie jeebies (who the hell says that in almost 2006? lol)
Ms. Jane Green (Mr Maybe) has me where she wants me - that is- about to get fired (I wish) cos I have my nose so deep in this book cos my boss had apparently been calling me and I didn't hear.
I can't believe how good she is. I have discovered another author that I must finish all books written by her. **Must remember to stop by the book store at the galleria before we go up to see the movie.

Does anyone have or care to buy me the sixth installment of Harry Potter (The Half Blood Prince)? It'll make for a nice Thanksgiving present since I won't be having a Thanksgiving this year :-(

Meanwhile I have been appointed the grusesome task of organizing the company Xmas party this year. I don't know when exactly would be a good time to let them know that firstly, I hate parties. Secondly, I hate Xmas and most importantly I hate anything that will cause me to extend myself more than I have to a.k.a. real work, hard work, work...
This is me who is a firm believer in- Don't do for yourself what someone else can be paid to do for you.
This is going to be an agonizing couple of weeks. I wouldn't even have come to the party. I don't want to go but I guess I would have to be there since I am the organzer.
Why don't u just pick up hot rods and stick them in my eyes while u're at it or worse still give me a pair of Candy's to wear out in public all nite.

HAPPINESS IS IN THE EYE OF THE BEHOLDER

I am very happy right now. This is the happiest I have been all week. What makes this moment extra special for me? Just 3 of my favorite people; Me, Myself & I. I am in the middle of my queen size bed with a pen and paper, a copy of British Vogue and Maroon 5 is playing on my cd player.

I am not eating, I haven’t spoken to Himself, I don’t have a new pair of shoes (though I really wouldn’t mind a pair of those exclusive-limited edition- Manolo Blahniks for Neiman Marcus) seen above. I’m surrounded by my favorite things in the world- music, fashion, my pen and paper, most importantly myself and my ability to write.

Earlier on I was a bit disappointed because I only lost 2 pounds this week but right now as I sing along to my favorite song on the cd (Songs about Jane), “The Sun”. I now truly understand what they mean when they say “Happiness is found in life’s simplest pleasures”. I could do this all day!

This got me thinking about people who depend on other people and things to make them happy. I used to be one of those people seeking acceptance and trying so hard to please everyone. If things weren’t going well, I would find solace in my 2 favorite men Ben & Jerry. It took a long time for me to get there and just accept me for who I am and be happy with me. There’s no better feeling than been comfortable in your own skin and enjoying your own company.

A friend of mine who I’ve come to respect so much in the last couple of weeks of “bonding” gave the best answer to a question I ask anyone who cares to answer- What do you want to be when you grow up? He said “HAPPY”. The closest I’ve come to such a great answer is mine which is “FULFILLED”. I turn around and ask him what his definition of happiness is and he said “Living your heart”.

If time and money were not an issue, what would you be doing?
I know most answers wouldn’t pay the bills but finding a way to incorporate it into your lifestyle is a good start.
For instance, I know that life as a writer might not be as lucrative and I will get tons more at a job using my degrees, I haven’t let that quell my passion for writing. I don’t know where this will take me but I took Miss Oprah’s advice- "You know you are on the road to success if you would do your job, and not be paid for it.”- there’s nothing like waking up every morning to do what you love. Doing something you love will eventually bring you to a point where you excel in it.

There is nothing like been passionate about something and been lucky enough to do it everyday and have it make you money at the same time.
I do believe that I am on a journey and I’m lucky to have a couple of people whom I admire greatly for their passion not only in what they do to make a buck but also in life. Finding your passion gives you a new outlook on life and somehow makes each day easier.

I pray for those who are still on that tedious quest to find themselves. The road is not easy but arriving at the destination is well worth every single fall.
I am who I am and I’m wondering what took me so long to find me because I am pretty amazing, intelligent and a fun person if I do say so me DAMN self! I can’t believe who I’ve been missing all those years.

And now that my hand is no longer attached to my mouth, I look in the mirror and think to myself “to think all this cuteness” and I’ve been hiding it.
Don’t get me wrong, I don’t wake up every morning feeling like this and my life is so far from been perfect but in this moment as I sing out loud and no one can hear me and I celebrate myself, it’s all good!

Here’s to living your heart and your best life.

"Happiness is an expression of the soul in considered actions".- Aristotle

I BEG TO DIS-‘AGREEK’

Growing up I loved Greek mythology. I was very fascinated by Greek gods and goddesses and the stories behind how they came to be. The stories were so fascinating and surreal. Perfect for an only child with an overactive imagination and whose world revolved around books and a mansion that had everything that I ever desired as a child a.k.a ‘Under the dining table’.

I remember in college English 1102 (World Lit.) was my easiest ‘A’ because “The Odyssey” and “The Iliad” were a major part of the course. I had no problem reading every page when most of the others just bought the “Cliff notes”.
I recently stumbled upon a story in Plato’s ‘Symposium’, Aristophanes (a philosopher), explains the feeling of familiarity we feel when a loved one comes into our lives. The claim is the loved one was our long lost “other half”. According to Aristophanes, all human beings used to be hermaphrodites with 4 hands and 4 legs and 2 faces on the same head looking opposite directions. But the hermaphrodites exuded much pride and were becoming so powerful that Zeus decided to separate them- ergo the male and female.
From that day forth, men and women have pined after their ‘other halves’ hoping to be made whole.

Literature on love is about as accurate as me drawing a straight line after ‘2 for 1 Margaritas’ at happy hour. Boy meets Girl, they fall in love, Girl’s Daddy hates Boy which further intensifies love, Boy & Girl elope, Daddy realizes he’s a bigot somewhere around Page 258 and accepts Boy & Girl and they live happily ever after. Or of course in the case of the greatest love story of all time, they die! That’s what perfect love will do to you- It’ll kill ya!
But these are the classic love stories. A typical love story has the meeting, the falling in love, the obstacle, obstacle overcome and then the “Happily Ever After”.

Meanwhile on Planet Earth….
I’m sure we’d all agree that’s far from the case. Unlike “The End” we encounter after the consummation of love in the movies and books, in real life it’s more like “The End……” until of course the final “END”. I have always felt strongly about the words “I love you for who you are” – a more appropriate sentence I feel SHOULD BE “I love you in spite of who you are and accept you for who you are not” My belief is we fall in love with the idea of a person. After a lifetime of Romeo & Juliet-esque stories who can blame us?

When the love of your life falls short of everything you want him to be, is that what translates into the “irreconcilable differences” clause on the divorce agreement?
If love is what brings us together, is it enough to keep us together?
Wouldn’t a better approach be having a serious reality check before commitment and understanding that we come into a relationship with all of ourselves. And knowing that “I do grow hair in places that you thought I didn’t” and NO! Chanel No.5 is not my body’s natural odor and “YES I SNORE even though I know you’re a light sleeper and I’d love to clip my nostrils together and stuff my throat with my socks but I’m afraid I won’t make it till the morning so I can annoy the hell out of you as you listen to me make that irritating noise with my throat in the mornings”.

What is love?
Is it the butterflies I get when I see your name on my Caller ID? Or is it the way my heartbeat quickens when I see you walk through that door?
Or is "loving" a decision? Me deciding that no matter what may come our way, I have DECIDED to stick this through a.k.a perseverance. Is it me deciding that when you do start to snore, I turn around and give you the evil eye but instead of trying to give you a concussion with my elbow, I gently nudge and turn you around on your side as I try hard not wake you because I know you had a really hard day a.k.a tolerance, a.k.a consideration, a.k.a accommodation.

Do you love the Prada wearing, Creed smelling, bunch of roses bearing, clean shaven, just prepared dinner HIM or the 3 day old boxers wearing, needs a hot bath smelling, doesn’t remember it’s your anniversary, always asking what there is to eat HIM?
Or do you love them both?

Again, if love is what brings us together, is it all it takes to keep us together?

“It’s not always rainbows and butterflies, its compromise that moves us along” – Maroon 5 (She will be loved)

**Please feel free to leave your '2 cents' on this issue- Anonymous posts are GREAT! Thanks :-)