MY NAME IS MOT and I’M DYSCALCULIC!!

The older I get, the more I want to purge myself of past demons, of things that I have been ashamed of and couldn’t talk about. Now I feel that I know myself and I’m confident enough to share these things and in some cases even laugh at myself.

If you’ve known me for a while or even for a short period of time you would have heard me say the following sentences about myself. “I am mathematically retarded” or “I can’t do anything outside of basic arithmetic” or “My future partner has to be a math genius, if not, my kids are going to be riding the short bus to school!”
I would always use humor to deflect an issue that has haunted me for ages.

Back in school, my worst position in secondary school was 7th. I was never the kid who was afraid to take their report card home. I remember an incident where most of my friends decided to change the Chemistry grade on their Continuous Assessment Book because we all failed that quarter. They all got in serious trouble but the only reason I wasn’t one of them was because I left on an exeat a day before mid-term break. If not, please believe I would have joined the CROWD!!! Secondary school was very competitive and I remember we would stay up and study/cram all night for exams and tests. I’m not competitive by nature and one of my mantras in life is “If it takes too long and it’s too hard then it’s not worth it” Sometimes u've just gotta know when to give up! (Yeah don’t u just feel for my offspring)
In college, it was the same; I didn’t really have problems with any classes except a Pre-Cal class. That was the first class I failed- I failed it on purpose because I stopped trying. Half way into the semester, I just stopped studying because nothing made sense. It was like Greek to me. I understoond the concepts but once I saw the numbers it would become a muddle, my brain couldn’t process the theories and match them to the numbers.

I’d always had a problem with math and my mom (God bless her soul) would tell me “FOCUS! If only you’d just apply yourself!” All I ever wanted to do was read my storybooks. I remember once when I was 6, my mom bought me an abacus cos she thought it would help with my arithmetic problems and I don’t know when or how but I do remember the day she whooped the living day lights out of me cos I had taken it apart and had strung the beads together into bracelets and necklaces. I had different colors for my dresses lol

I was talking to my friend last night and I felt the need to confess that I have a complex. I know I’m smart but when it comes to math I’m a total DUFUS. He asked if I was one of those people who when I give/when given directions I have to signal with my hands so that it registers and I said “YES! HOW DO YOU KNOW?” He told me he had read up on it and apparently there is a condition similar to dyslexia but couldn’t remember the name.

Maybe slacking at work is one of the symptoms because all I did all morning was GOOGLE – learning disabilities and EUREKA! It’s called DYSCALCULIA (pls see the link below to learn more) I also found an article written by a woman who has the same condition. Her experiences are so similar to mine.
I STILL count off my fingers & toes, I can’t process 3 digit math problems off the top of my head as fast as most of my friends can (just call me Quickfingers on the calculator), I have issues with analog clocks (but can’t wear digital watches for purely vanity purposes… whaat? I said I was Dyscalculic not CRAZY!), I avoid math like the plague, I have no sense of direction, I always get lost and I HATE MAPQUEST for telling me to turn on SO & SO avenue “headed EAST” WTF do I look like? A COMPASS? I also suck at standardized tests! (TAKE THAT S.A.T’S!) The last time I opened a bank statement was NEVER!
I suck at keeping tabs on my financial matters but I don’t think dyscalculia is to blame, that’s just another mental problem - Shopaholicism…more on that :-D

I am at peace now! I want to call my mom and tell her but even with her been a doctor, the Nigerian mother in her will rear its ugly head and say “Hmm MOT, you’re always making excuses”
I don’t care. I’m just happy I’m not an OLODO after all!
I truly hope that this brings someone closure as it has done for me.
And for those of you Einsteins out there…sorry oh! But you could never be as street smart as us!

P.S. Low, this is for u cos I know u will call me and say “MOT! 9877985 minus 8790870 and cackle stupidly WENCH!!

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dyscalculia
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/article/0,,8123-2217154_1,00.html