According to the stories we've read and heard, Eve got herself and Adam thrown out of the Garden of Eden because she gave into the temptation of taking a bite out of the forbidden fruit/apple. I've often found myself wondering, if I were Eve, in what form would my tempation have come? No prizes for guessing.
I can imagine that the devil would have had a blast trying to tempt me because as the seasons pass, so would what he would have to come up with. Infact he'd be shopping so much that you might have me to thank for world peace.
This season- ladies and gentlemen I present to you my forbidden fruit. If he were tempting me this season he would have had to come has these Brian Atwood lace d'orsay pumps!! My goodness! Pure class. Very understated elegance...but oozing with class and so much sassiness. Now there's a strut I can imagine already.
Only issue is unlike Eve who was generous enough to share her apple with Adam, I will not be sharing my fruit with Himself. Infact the closest he will get to these babies is when he pays for them; not that I advocate for been a kept woman but hey if the shoe fits... then who am I not to put them on!
Really you must check out the Brian Atwood collection at Saks. Shoes are to die for... maybe even good enough to kill for (I'll let you be the judge of that)
"If a woman rebels against high-heeled shoes, she should take care to do it in a very smart hat". - George Bernard Shaw
My week has come to an end. Those of you that know me know I have a 4 day work week and am very much looking forward to the weekend. I asked Himself out on a date. I want to take him to the movies tomorrow. I really wanted to see "In Her Shoes" (since my girls sold out and saw it without me) but then he gave me this look like I asked him to join a blood sucking cult or something so I guess 'The Legend of Zorro" it is then! He agreed and then in turn told me we'll also go on his date to 'Thistle Bar' since they are supposed to have the best fresh fish pepper soup this sice of the hemisphere. Knowing us either one of two things will happen it'll end up been a group activity since I end up begging his friends to come with us and he doesn't mind or we most probably will end up on the couch playing "Soul Calibur II", hi-fiving each other everytime we kick Inferno's ass, complete the mission and open up a new character (as people shake their heads and make pitiful noises) and order Chinese at 2am in the morning like we did last Saturday nite... they just don't get it!!I don't think we'll be motivated to go to the movies until King Kong is released. I can't wait. I LOVE KING KONG!! The old version is my fave movie of all time... well as a child it was. He loves Peter Jackson cos of the LOTR trilogy and I love the errr...Kong? (yes! the gorilla and I are on a first name basis)Ok so I really have nothing to say since I've had a long and exhausting week. Let me say though that Nigerians have got to be the most 'special" as in SPECIAL ED, rode the short bus kinda way- people that I have had the unfortunate pleasure of working with in my life. Just when u think human beings can't be dumber... BAM! One just takes it up another level and surprises the hell outta u! Can u say S-P-A-S-T-I-C!! cos I'm not sure I can spell it. They come at you with stuff like "The sun is shining so it's bright outside"- NO SH*T Sherlock! I would have never guessed the sun would be out. What's it doing out there at 2pm in the FREAKING AFTERNOON!! AAARRRGHH! I gave in! I couldn't read the Patricia Scanlan book... Double Wedding.. apart from the obvious title that gives me the heebie jeebies (who the hell says that in almost 2006? lol) Ms. Jane Green (Mr Maybe) has me where she wants me - that is- about to get fired (I wish) cos I have my nose so deep in this book cos my boss had apparently been calling me and I didn't hear. I can't believe how good she is. I have discovered another author that I must finish all books written by her. **Must remember to stop by the book store at the galleria before we go up to see the movie.Does anyone have or care to buy me the sixth installment of Harry Potter (The Half Blood Prince)? It'll make for a nice Thanksgiving present since I won't be having a Thanksgiving this year :-(Meanwhile I have been appointed the grusesome task of organizing the company Xmas party this year. I don't know when exactly would be a good time to let them know that firstly, I hate parties. Secondly, I hate Xmas and most importantly I hate anything that will cause me to extend myself more than I have to a.k.a. real work, hard work, work...This is me who is a firm believer in- Don't do for yourself what someone else can be paid to do for you. This is going to be an agonizing couple of weeks. I wouldn't even have come to the party. I don't want to go but I guess I would have to be there since I am the organzer. Why don't u just pick up hot rods and stick them in my eyes while u're at it or worse still give me a pair of Candy's to wear out in public all nite.
I am very happy right now. This is the happiest I have been all week. What makes this moment extra special for me? Just 3 of my favorite people; Me, Myself & I. I am in the middle of my queen size bed with a pen and paper, a copy of British Vogue and Maroon 5 is playing on my cd player.
I am not eating, I haven’t spoken to Himself, I don’t have a new pair of shoes (though I really wouldn’t mind a pair of those exclusive-limited edition- Manolo Blahniks for Neiman Marcus) seen above. I’m surrounded by my favorite things in the world- music, fashion, my pen and paper, most importantly myself and my ability to write.
Earlier on I was a bit disappointed because I only lost 2 pounds this week but right now as I sing along to my favorite song on the cd (Songs about Jane), “The Sun”. I now truly understand what they mean when they say “Happiness is found in life’s simplest pleasures”. I could do this all day!
This got me thinking about people who depend on other people and things to make them happy. I used to be one of those people seeking acceptance and trying so hard to please everyone. If things weren’t going well, I would find solace in my 2 favorite men Ben & Jerry. It took a long time for me to get there and just accept me for who I am and be happy with me. There’s no better feeling than been comfortable in your own skin and enjoying your own company.
A friend of mine who I’ve come to respect so much in the last couple of weeks of “bonding” gave the best answer to a question I ask anyone who cares to answer- What do you want to be when you grow up? He said “HAPPY”. The closest I’ve come to such a great answer is mine which is “FULFILLED”. I turn around and ask him what his definition of happiness is and he said “Living your heart”.
If time and money were not an issue, what would you be doing?
I know most answers wouldn’t pay the bills but finding a way to incorporate it into your lifestyle is a good start.
For instance, I know that life as a writer might not be as lucrative and I will get tons more at a job using my degrees, I haven’t let that quell my passion for writing. I don’t know where this will take me but I took Miss Oprah’s advice- "You know you are on the road to success if you would do your job, and not be paid for it.”- there’s nothing like waking up every morning to do what you love. Doing something you love will eventually bring you to a point where you excel in it.
There is nothing like been passionate about something and been lucky enough to do it everyday and have it make you money at the same time.
I do believe that I am on a journey and I’m lucky to have a couple of people whom I admire greatly for their passion not only in what they do to make a buck but also in life. Finding your passion gives you a new outlook on life and somehow makes each day easier.
I pray for those who are still on that tedious quest to find themselves. The road is not easy but arriving at the destination is well worth every single fall.
I am who I am and I’m wondering what took me so long to find me because I am pretty amazing, intelligent and a fun person if I do say so me DAMN self! I can’t believe who I’ve been missing all those years.
And now that my hand is no longer attached to my mouth, I look in the mirror and think to myself “to think all this cuteness” and I’ve been hiding it.
Don’t get me wrong, I don’t wake up every morning feeling like this and my life is so far from been perfect but in this moment as I sing out loud and no one can hear me and I celebrate myself, it’s all good!
Here’s to living your heart and your best life.
"Happiness is an expression of the soul in considered actions".- Aristotle
Growing up I loved Greek mythology. I was very fascinated by Greek gods and goddesses and the stories behind how they came to be. The stories were so fascinating and surreal. Perfect for an only child with an overactive imagination and whose world revolved around books and a mansion that had everything that I ever desired as a child a.k.a ‘Under the dining table’.I remember in college English 1102 (World Lit.) was my easiest ‘A’ because “The Odyssey” and “The Iliad” were a major part of the course. I had no problem reading every page when most of the others just bought the “Cliff notes”.
I recently stumbled upon a story in Plato’s ‘Symposium’, Aristophanes (a philosopher), explains the feeling of familiarity we feel when a loved one comes into our lives. The claim is the loved one was our long lost “other half”. According to Aristophanes, all human beings used to be hermaphrodites with 4 hands and 4 legs and 2 faces on the same head looking opposite directions. But the hermaphrodites exuded much pride and were becoming so powerful that Zeus decided to separate them- ergo the male and female.
From that day forth, men and women have pined after their ‘other halves’ hoping to be made whole.
Literature on love is about as accurate as me drawing a straight line after ‘2 for 1 Margaritas’ at happy hour. Boy meets Girl, they fall in love, Girl’s Daddy hates Boy which further intensifies love, Boy & Girl elope, Daddy realizes he’s a bigot somewhere around Page 258 and accepts Boy & Girl and they live happily ever after. Or of course in the case of the greatest love story of all time, they die! That’s what perfect love will do to you- It’ll kill ya!
But these are the classic love stories. A typical love story has the meeting, the falling in love, the obstacle, obstacle overcome and then the “Happily Ever After”.Meanwhile on Planet Earth….
I’m sure we’d all agree that’s far from the case. Unlike “The End” we encounter after the consummation of love in the movies and books, in real life it’s more like “The End……” until of course the final “END”. I have always felt strongly about the words “I love you for who you are” – a more appropriate sentence I feel SHOULD BE “I love you in spite of who you are and accept you for who you are not” My belief is we fall in love with the idea of a person. After a lifetime of Romeo & Juliet-esque stories who can blame us? When the love of your life falls short of everything you want him to be, is that what translates into the “irreconcilable differences” clause on the divorce agreement?
If love is what brings us together, is it enough to keep us together?
Wouldn’t a better approach be having a serious reality check before commitment and understanding that we come into a relationship with all of ourselves. And knowing that “I do grow hair in places that you thought I didn’t” and NO! Chanel No.5 is not my body’s natural odor and “YES I SNORE even though I know you’re a light sleeper and I’d love to clip my nostrils together and stuff my throat with my socks but I’m afraid I won’t make it till the morning so I can annoy the hell out of you as you listen to me make that irritating noise with my throat in the mornings”.What is love?Is it the butterflies I get when I see your name on my Caller ID? Or is it the way my heartbeat quickens when I see you walk through that door?
Or is "loving" a decision? Me deciding that no matter what may come our way, I have DECIDED to stick this through a.k.a perseverance. Is it me deciding that when you do start to snore, I turn around and give you the evil eye but instead of trying to give you a concussion with my elbow, I gently nudge and turn you around on your side as I try hard not wake you because I know you had a really hard day a.k.a tolerance, a.k.a consideration, a.k.a accommodation. Do you love the Prada wearing, Creed smelling, bunch of roses bearing, clean shaven, just prepared dinner HIM or the 3 day old boxers wearing, needs a hot bath smelling, doesn’t remember it’s your anniversary, always asking what there is to eat HIM?
Or do you love them both?Again, if love is what brings us together, is it all it takes to keep us together?
“It’s not always rainbows and butterflies, its compromise that moves us along” –
Maroon 5 (She will be loved)**Please feel free to leave your '2 cents' on this issue- Anonymous posts are GREAT! Thanks :-)
What?? You say… YES! It’s the new term I’ve coined for my issues with shoes.
My obsession with shoes falls into three categories. There are the affordable shoes, the shoes that I cannot afford but I buy anyway and then there are unaffordable shoes and under that category, there are the shoes that I won’t buy because I feel that the designers are price gouging and there are the shoes that are just not within the reach of my income bracket…YET.
Back to my ‘isshoes’, everyone that has been to Lagos knows the damage that the roads can do to your shoes. You wear a brand new pair of shoes and at the end of the day, your soles look like you’ve been laying bricks all day. For that very reason I have not been able to wear any of my Ferragamo loafers or drivers. Anyone who knows me well knows how much I revere my Ferragamo shoes. They have a special place in the shoe section of my heart.
However, I decided to break the curse this morning and wear my mandarin drivers to work. I haven’t worn them in almost a year and I thought I was been ridiculous after all I can’t keep them in their boxes forever right?
After much deliberation, I decided the best course of action would be to wear a pair of flip flops into the car and then put my shoes on when I get to my desk.
So there I am a-hopping, skipping and jumping to work. I’m ecstatic that I’m wearing my shoes finally and thinking to myself why it took me so long to come up with such an ingenious idea.
And then there was LUNCH TIME!
A co-worker and I decided to go out to lunch and this is the point that is the reason for this story. It had been raining all day and I couldn’t figure how I was going to walk from the restaurant parking lot into the restaurant. I mean I couldn’t take my shoes in the duster bag like I did this morning and change when I sat at the table… or could I?
So here I am sitting at my desk. I have given up on going to lunch because my shoes were not made for the rain. Of course my co-worker’s rolling her eyes at me saying “What idiot designs shoes with leather soles?” And I’m thinking “If you don’t get it, you never will”. I’ve given her options like piggy-backing me into the restaurant from the car or if I could get one of those plastic thingies that men in factories wear to protect their shoes, then we have a date!
I realize that this is shallow but please walk a mile in my shoes and feel how comfortable they are and then you can judge me!
I’ve got ISSHOES! lol
So I had a little shoe party yesterday. I was the hostess, my shoes were the guests. It’s nothing out of the ordinary. At least not in my world because they know me there! I have these parties all the time. I bring my shoes out, I try them on, I pair them with outfits, I treat them according to care instructions, leather gets a coat of leather protector, suede- gets cleaned with a soft cloth and suede protector sprayed on and so on and so forth.
Yesterday got me thinking about how much value I have come to place on my shoes. Let’s ignore the fact that my little shoe collection could most probably buy a little shack somewhere in a third world country lol I’ve often found myself thinking about how much I could have in the bank if I hadn’t overindulged on what some like to call over-priced shoes. To those people I say there is a HUGE difference between some cheap shoes made of man-made materials and shoes that cost a little more but are made of natural materials. U just ask the lady with the bunions and corns on all her toes. U can’t last a whole night club hopping in some cheap shoes! And you may think that as long as they look good no one else will know, but I ask you to search your conscience because if no one else knows… God knows you paid $29.99 for those “If u like Prada pumps then you’d like our …shoes”.
Anyway I remember months ago in Atlanta when the love of my life Eve (my pit bull pup) ate the heel of my shoe. They were the perfect tan pumps and were ruffled in front. I loved those shoes. I really thought that the dog chewing on the shoe thing was another myth like ‘the dog ate my homework excuse’ not until I left Eve in my room to go into the bathroom and came back to her not nibbling, not chewing but CHOMPING on the heel of my shoes! Oh boy! When I think back to that incident now I do believe God was testing my love aptitude. Needless to say, I failed because Eve got the sh*t slapped out of her and spent the rest of the day in the garage. I mean, I love Eve. She was like my first child. Eve who I’d buy fabulous collars for, Eve who I’d take to the groomers, Eve who I’d take to doggie-daycare so she wouldn’t be lonely when I’m at work, Eve who shared my bed! You can imagine finding her with the shoe in her mouth was like a stab straight through the heart. Although I’d have to confess and say that I did feel better after whacking her.
Now I don’t want the members of P.E.T.A beating down my door and talking about animal cruelty. Chomping on the perfect tan, BCBG Max Azria pumps? Now that’s cruelty because every woman knows how hard it is to find the right shade of tan to go with everything. If Imelda Marcos had some organization to stop the wrongful treatment of shoes, would dogs not be the greatest offenders? Dogs and the guy who designed the first sanchoes boots. I say that in all fairness because I can’t give that credit to a woman. Only a man could have designed something so ugly!
I still have my shoes because I can’t bring myself to throw them away. Firstly, because they cost too damn much and secondly because I have this constant fear that if I do wear them out, someone will confront me, stand me on my head to check out the bite marks on the heel of my shoe!
And now you have true insight into how truly twisted my mind is… lol
Oh my goodness it feels so good to be writing again after a chronic case of “blogger-block” lol alot has happened in the last 2 months. As my last blog entry stated, I was going through a “what’s my life all about” phase that lasted a little longer than I expected it to. I have recently crawled out of that dark place and I’m gradually putting the pieces of the puzzle together.
I can’t say I get it all but I am beginning to get it now. I’m working on a business plan which I hope will play out as smoothly in real life…well not too smoothly because I do love a challenge now and then. I’m having issues with negotiating space and rent but I’m soaking up every bit of this experience and loving it. I feel awake for the first time in months! I’m finally getting it and getting it together.
Also, I have ‘moved on up’ at work and now work for the ‘top dog’ in the company with whom I share a GLASS WALL!! No longer can I chat on the phone or check neimanmarcus.com for “fall’s hottest fashion trends” firstly because I actually do work now and secondly, he has this habit of popping his head out of his door which of course is behind me and virtually impossible to notice when he gets up because I am so engrossed in the detailing on this fall’s Christian Louboutins!
The plus to this though is; working for the boss means everyone has to kiss my a** once in a while to get stuff through to him. I’ll have to admit we are a funny pair (me and my boss that is) Him and his South-African/Dutch accent and me and my Nigerian accent laced with American undertones. You should hear us conversing; we sound like the United Nations live feed during a really bad storm!
Another funny thing is I remember him been out of town often before I started working for him and now it seems the next time he’s going out of town is when he’s going home for Christmas. Just my luck!
In the last couple of months I have also very sadly gained 10 pounds. Apparently, the substitute for putting the brakes on a very active social life is weight gain. Now nothing fits right and I’m back to my gruesome and if I might add very unhealthy diet. I plan to jump start my social activities in a couple of weeks and I can’t do that if the clothes don’t fit right now can I?
The good news is my feet are still the same. Thank God for shoes at least they don’t make you feel fat so there is some consolation in this after all.
Thank you to everyone who has bugged me constantly to keep writing and update my blog… this one’s for you.
Oh in a desperate bid to get out of my rut, I got chestnut blonde highlights a couple of weeks ago. Which look fab but then I wonder why I did it because the last time I did, I had to cut all my hair off to grow the color out and also to start over and I just got the bounce and length back in my hair.
Not everything that is faced can be changed, but nothing can be changed until it is faced. - James Baldwin
In the past month, I have watched as my social life has taken a gradual spiral downturn... by choice. I don't know what's to blame for this. I make all these plans during the week and then come Thursday night into Friday morning I feel like a balloon that someone's let all the air out of. I can't seem to get my head around partying or socializing.
Lately all I can think about are two things. Love and Money ( and that's in no particular order). I am going through an "early life crisis" not to be confused with the mid-life crisis that comes with affairs and a flashy red Maserati. I am desperately in search of a meaning to my life and not knowing where to turn is a bit frustrating. They say it's normal to feel a sense of detachment in your early 20's. You're supposed to feel like you don't know what you want to do with your life and this is the time where you're supposed to do some soul searching and find yourself. Well I must be rolling with the wrong 20-somethings because most of the people I am friends with, have their lives together and are jetting towards retirement at 35. I on the other hand after two business degrees and reading all the books in the world, still feel empty.
I am particularly been meticulous of the decisions that I need to make at this point in my life because I feel they will either make or break me. I am a control freak who obsessively tries to marginalize all possible errors that could occur in my life. From career choices to love and life in general. It's been one hell of a roller-coaster trying to make decisions. Even more mind-boggling is the fact that though I've come a long way in convincing myself that I don't care what anyone thinks, in the back of my mind, I am desperately searching for validation from the people in my life to kind of stir me in some sorted direction.
Himself says I'm dealing with a lethal dose of "reality check" (sometimes it sucks to have a man who can be so in tune with himself and life) I hate that- REALITY CHECK... if this is my reality then pass me a feather pillow
because I need to keep on dreaming for a while.
In my quest to find myself again (BECAUSE I GO THROUGH THIS PHASE ABOUT 2-3 TIMES A YEAR) I have done the usual reading and writing. I have been so encouraged by the words of Maya Angelou. Ladies, please read Phenomenal Woman and Still I Rise amongst others. Her words have been such a source of inspiration.
I don't know how long this phase will last but I do know that it's the journey not the destination that counts.
And with love and Ms. Angelou on my side. I will get through it cos I'm awoman...Phenomenally!
I do need to get it together cos mama needs a new pair of shoes and they don't accept finger snaps at Neiman's (not that I've tried)
"Make the most of yourself, for that is all there is of you" - Ralph Waldo Emerson
Monday- Peter Jennings passed away last nite. God rest his soul. It’s amazing how someone is there one minute and the next, they’re gone. Also has made me aware how deadly cancer is how it is of course no respecter of person. I am devastated and truly shocked. America has lost one of it’s greatest news anchors. He’s the only one I’d watch for the nightly news. Really sad… Seems like all the greats are leaving us. First, my favorite actor on my favorite show (Law & Order) Jerry Orbach, dies. No longer will I hear those witty and hilarious one-liners delivered at the crime scene again. Then Luther, I was at a club (11:45) at an event showcasing up and coming Nigerian artistes, when Dare Art-Alade announced the passing of Luther and did a wonderful rendition of “Dance with my Father”. Needless to say the mood changed and most of my friends and I cried at the loss of someone who had been a part of our lives. God bless them all.
Tuesday- DISCOVERY IS HOME! It’s amazing how even though I am away from America, I am still so patriotic. My eyes still water every time I hear the songs “America The Beautiful” and “The Star-Spangled Banner”. On 4th of July, I was depressed because I was at work so no barbecues for me. I watched Discovery’s landing live and was so excited when it touched down. People didn’t understand why I was so excited and still drew blank when I explained how important this was because of the men and women we had lost when “Columbia” crashed in 2003. WELCOME BACK!
America will always be a part of me and I will always be American deep down in my heart.
Wednesday- THE HYATTES! My goodness so this story came on CNN about this couple who were on some Bonnie & Clyde sh*t. This woman busted her man on his way to prison. What the hell? Then I go and look on the website and they’re also on some Ebony & Ivory sh*t. I know this is a bad time to bring this up but the brotha is a cutie. No wonder he had Ms. Snow-White all loved up…lost her job and married his ass in prison and made him kill an officer of the law. I don’t know how smart they are though. At this rate they’ll catch up to them before the end of week.Bluefly.com started its semi-annual Blue sale today. Ladies. u can get up to 85% on tons of stuff... SHOES... SHOES and more SHOES...
Thursday- THEY GOT CAUGHT! Bonnie & Clyde Version 3.0 got caught. No surprises there! I say 3.0 because there was the first B & C and then there was Version 2.0 (Jay-z & Beyonce) and now these clowns who thot they could get away with murder. Let’s see how they can be together now. That was some dumb sh*t. I don’t care how bad this sounds, but a sista would never have gotten herself in that situation. She’d have been like “I luv u boo but I got ur back from way over there!” lol “NO! U messed up! Deal with it and do the damn time!”
Kimora Lee Simmons who seems to be spending all her time at the tanning salon nowadays got off with a slap on the wrist. I am so mad at that. A high speed chase and drug possession and all of a sudden the charges were reduced to careless driving. And they say money can’t buy everything…
Friday- IS MY DAY OF LEISURE AND PARTYING! So I’ll give you my ‘unasked for’ opinions over the weekend if I wake up before Monday that is!
Smooches x
I haven’t fallen off the face of the earth. I will explain my inability to be as frequent in my writing. It’s the same reason every woman changes her routine/ritual which she has sworn by for forever, it’s the same reason you can’t live with but still can’t live without- A MAN...ok not just any man... THE MAN (If I had a dollar for every time I've said that... I'd still be poor) lol
I don’t know if I send out insomniac vibes but I only seem to attract insomniacs like myself. I am the only one that I know you can call at 3am in the morning and I answer the phone like I’m a telephone operator who moonlights at Starbucks! I am always ready for a conversation- with the right person that is. I used to be the one girl-friends will call crying to at all hours in the morning to bitch and moan about their men.
So all I seem to do with my days and more of my nites is talk to Himself discussing everything under the sun or moon in this case.
Eagerly anticipating his return.
I am not famous for my patience.
Neither is he. We’re a match made in heaven..ha!!
Plus the man will walk to the Lancome counter and buy me my mascara and GET the right one. I tell u ladies, if he passes the "run to the store and buy me tampons" test. I will propose! (yikes!)
I’m currently reading ‘Last Chance Saloon’ by Marian Keyes. Love her. I’m one book short of reading all she’s published. Thanks to B who is equally as obsessed, I haven’t had to buy one book even though Marian Keyes deserves my money. Oh I did buy ‘Sushi for Beginners’ but still ended up reading B’s copy (don’t ask!)
Anyway ‘Last Chance…’ is about a group of thirty-something’s, who are childhood friends and of course everyone of them is twisted in some kind of way. It’s a good read. I recommend it. I’ll recommend Ms. Keyes. The only one I couldn’t get my head into was ‘Lucy Sullivan is Getting Married’ I don’t know if that has more to do with the book or my phobia of marriage. The whole concept of ‘happily ever after’ is a bit scary. The EVER AFTER been the part that scares the bajeyzus outta me. It just doesn’t happen!
Monogamy is an unfeasible social concept. There are just too many of us. And how many times have u found “The One”? How many times have you felt so connected to someone? I think people being together and staying together is a personal decision.
I’ve always felt and said love is a decision. So is commitment and fidelity.
Enough of the raving…
My phone’s ringing.. it’s HIM!!
More as and when… x"Love makes your soul crawl out from it's hiding place"- Zora Neale Hurston
Here’s a list of my all time favorite things & favorite things right now. I believe every girl needs to put these on a check list every year. Something that gives you that extra pep in your step! That makes you feel a lil’ more fabulous than you already are when u wake up ;-)
These things have gotten me through this year so far so good so I thot I’d share. Some of them I’ve acquired and some I have not… those I prefer to call “The reason I get up every morning at 5am to go to work!”
So here they are in no particular order- doing that will be like having kids and having to admit you love one more than the other! (yikes!)
1) A CD- There’s that one cd you hear and it reminds you of a certain time in your life or a certain stage you were in your life. This year, it would be Destiny Fulfilled (DC), Mariah’s “Emancipation…”, Maroon 5’s “Songs about Jane” and what’s on repeat in my cd player rite now is R.Kelly’s TP3.com:Reloaded (YES I bought a real copy and I have the receipt to prove it) I recommend it to everyone. This CD is way off the hook. My ex-baby daddy has done it again! One advice ladies, if you intend to listen to this constantly, I suggest you get yourself a MAN…before it gets cold. All the songs on this album are too damn sexy. Thank God we only have one weather in Nigeria (oh boy!) ***2) LUELLA! LUELLA! LUELLA! I will be the first to admit that I didn’t think Ms. Bartley would last in the fashion world. I just thot she was a fad but she’s starting to prove me wrong and I’m glad she did because her stuff is getting more & more fab. If you can’t afford to spring for a bag or wallet rite now. Go and check out MAC! She’s got a line of lip glosses that are too cute and they’re limited edition. And the price is right 14 bucks. ***3) SMYTHSON Five Year Diary- Every girl needs a journal. It’s a good reference for a time in your life. I love to write down anything and everything (except incriminating activities HA!) so I’m mad about stationery. Smythson is my all time fave. Stuff can be a bit pricey “for just paper” as Himself keeps telling me (what does he know?) and the 5 yr diary is really an investment if u think about it. Think of all the things that could happen in 5 years before you have to buy another one :-)4) A BOOK- I am constantly reading. I am the only person I know that has read everything that Sidney Sheldon and Jackie Collins have written. I am in my chick-lit phase right now (how long is a phase supposed to last for because it’s been about 2 years) The Shopaholic Series is a must read. ‘Shopaholic and Sister’ is it for me right now. I suggest you read them all…too fun! I am also a ‘Potterhead’ I love HARRY POTTER! The one and only bookstore that released it in Lagos was sold out by the time I got there. I have placed a special order for Harry Potter and The Half-Blood Prince (not advisable if you haven’t read the first 5 books) ***5) FABULOUS DESIGNER SHOES- Ok I didn’t want to be obvious and make this # 1 but I mean really this is a no-brainer. I wouldn’t even stop at one, make it a bi-weekly affair ;-) I’ve gotten my D&G’s this summer so at least I’m smiling. Since Lagos only affords me the luxury of online shopping I have felt like a caged animal but I think I’m doing pretty well. ***6) TIFFANY- Every girl needs something from Tiffany. I’ve always said if I’m found dead, I will be found with at least one piece from Tiffany on my person. They have expanded their 1837 collection (my personal favorite) and therefore have inadvertently extended a challenge towards me to expand mine. ***7) APPLE- I am surrounded by ‘Apple-heads’ all my favorite people love, own, and are obsessed with Apple products so it’s no big surprise that some of it has rubbed off on me. My fave thing now is the special edition U2 IPOD. It’s black and red and stands out plus it’s autographed. Besides Bono is so hot and he’s one of the people I admire most for his philanthropic ways.8) A BAG- This season! 2 words! CHRISTIAN DIOR! They are going crazy with the flowers (see doctor’s bag to your right- top of article) Oh my goodness! Please go on eluxury.com and join me in salivating over this collection of bags with embroidered flowers. This bag is my personal favorite now. This should get us through a couple of years at almost $1600 a pop!9) AN ELEGANT TIMEPIECE- The good thing about a watch is that it can last you a couple of years except if you’re like some of us that have an addiction to retail and “Just have to have that!” One that I was obsessed with was Phillip Stein Tesslar (Madonna gave Oprah one and she wore it on every show for one whole season!) You can change the straps and they have this cool chip that alleviates stress (I don’t know about that because my cousin is always on the edge…sorry cuz! :-) Me! I’m a Movado kinda girl… see I don’t ask for much but I do love RADO ***10) CHANEL SUNGLASSES- I said CHANEL! Enough said! I mean really do I need to explain this… the goddess of CHANEL will never smile on me again. Get a pair! If only to know what Paris Hilton feels like. I feel invisible in mine. I have the ones I wear all the damn time and then the “special occasion ones” that’s when I want to unleash the “Paris” within lol Mucho gracias (was a gift) My friends love me! ***
*** indicates the checks on my check list.
Over the weekend, I was having a conversation with a friend and we started to discuss another friend whose philandering boyfriend’s only requirement for the opposite sex is: BREATHING. Of course I was quick to judge and I jumped into my ‘Destiny’s Child-esque’ mode (on the 2nd album anyway) I was in male-bashing mode, shooting off at the mouth about how she can do bad all by herself and how she needs therapy for low self-esteem.
Then my friend asked me “In this day and age, if you were her, would you leave your man?” and then I shut up. I got to thinking… Would I? This time last year, if you had asked me that question I would’ve given you a straight answer- HELL YES! Today, I don’t know.
See ladies in the last 7 months, I have gradually started to adjust my thinking. I am now in Lagos where the ratio of fine women to any kind of man is a gajillion to one (I exaggerate ;-) but it’s close :-(
My personal thoughts on this phenomenon is that this is part of the “Garden of Eden” curse and part of the conspiracy of course is that those MEN who rewrote history conveniently left out the “outnumbering factor” plus they thought excruiciating child labor made for a better read in the Holy Book (go figure!)I am getting 'schooled' in the techniques of keeping a man... it is a jungle out there! U either take down or get taken down especially when you have a good one. That's pathetic!
We are all guilty of following our hearts when we fall in love and “persevering” (a nice way of saying we become sh*t takers) but at what point do you stop loving yourself in the name of loving him? When will you get a break from broken promises, your broken heart, and a broken spirit? Most importantly if real love means loving someone as much as you love yourself, if the tables were turned, would he be virtuous enough to stay?
In the meantime, I’m still pondering the answer to the question. I still don’t know but this much I do know; Oscar Wilde said it best “To love oneself is the beginning of a life long romance” and ladies no man’s going to love you like you love you but God.
If you do find one though, he's a keeper... hold on tight! There are vultures out there! lolI'll be back to fully explore the highly over-rated double standards that women are subjected to… (we might have to go back to burning bras!!!)
Picture this- Sitting in my room trying on random outfits. Practicing the golden rule; work the outfit around the shoes and not the other way around. Because a pair of the right fabulous shoes could do a “turn water into wine” type miracle for a dying outfit but the wrong shoes are just downright sinful… I digress…
My “Sex and the City” theme song ring tone goes off…
Me- Hello
Homegirl- “Ok so he just called and I told him how much I love water sports and he just said we should go to some beach sometime soon. What do u think it means?”
Me- Aaaww that’s so sweet…he’s planning for the FUTURE!
And with those very words ladies we have committed what I like to call “potential relationship” suicide.
That conversation was me a couple of years ago. Today; I have a more practical approach when it comes to men. I would simply say to “Homegirl” it just means he wants to take you to the beach on some random Saturday.
I’ve come to find that men are not complicated creatures. They say exactly what they mean. There is no deeper meaning to what any man says. Men only get creative with sexual innuendos and that’s only because he knows you’d sh*t a brick if he said “I want to screw your brains out” during one of the “getting to know you” conversations.
Women read meaning into it all- the deep, intense stares; the “I was just thinking about you” calls that soon stop coming. Guess what honey? In “man-speak” it translates to “I want to screw your brains out!”
There is not a human male of age on this earth who does not have sex on the brains when they meet you. Men are strictly visual creatures acting upon only that which they see. The real feelings from the inside don’t come until later.
Women are idealistic creatures. The moment we meet a guy who can carry more than an hour long conversation, makes us laugh at least 3 times in that hour and shares a minimum of 2 of our “artsy-fartsy” passions like seeing Broadway musicals (or God forbid he likes cartoons!) we start to pick out china patterns or damask colors and name the kids. We girlfriends don’t help either with our psychic abilities. Why are you calling me to decipher what your man said, if I had that ability I’d be too busy to take this call because I’d be “Catering to my man” (we’ll talk about ‘DC’ later for setting the Women’s Liberation Movement back another 50 years…or did they?)
Bottom line- stop putting these men on pedestals. Take every word literally. “I’ll call you later” does not translate to “I’ll call you in 5 minutes”. It could be 5 hours, hell it could be 5 days! They are men! It’s not that deep for them. STOP! Picking up the phone to check for a dial tone! STOP! Using your cell phone to call your land line to check if it’s disconnected. Take your mind off him and get to color coding your closet.
He’s so into you right now. I don’t know about tomorrow, he doesn’t know either (He’s a man!)
Take him off that pedestal you’ve put him on in your mind and stop expecting so much when so little has been said. Maybe you wouldn’t have to utter the words “He just wasn’t that into me” (Who’s he not to be anyway with your fabulous self)
There, I just saved you $20 bucks or $200 an hour on a couch!
Now if only I could take my own advice…
“Love is a gross exaggeration of the difference between one person and everybody else”- George Bernard Shaw
Celebration on Friday night was BANANAS! Yes we go out almost every Friday night however, this Friday night was different- I was drinking! Two things happened on Friday night. First, I remembered why I stopped drinking in the first place and secondly, I remembered why I started drinking in the first place. Oh my goodness I forgot how much fun I can be when I’m ‘under the influence’ I also forgot how ‘ballsy’ I become when the juice is flowing in my veins. I have been told I don’t need to drink to be “off the hook” and I agree. I did say to myself when I was getting dressed that I was having one drink…but two margaritas and two glasses of the house ‘red’ later at Saipan and I was in my element!
Needless to say I did need the energy because everybody and their grandmamma were out on Friday night. Bacchus was so jam-packed; we were practically stepping over each other’s heads in the VIP section. They say it’s a fire hazard waiting to happen, I say I’d rather die looking pretty and partying up a storm in my best shoes (ok! ok! I kid…I kid!) It was tons of fun and shout out to the DJ at Bacchus who had us dancing a hole into the floor till 5am in the morning!
Thanks to the generous gentlemen who kept me in my ‘element’ by keeping my glass full always.
Thanks B, because my excuse for going out after I had sworn off clubbing for a month was that it was your birthday.
A special thank you to my fabulous shoes and my pedicured feet for not giving way and embarrassing me till it was time to go home. (I just managed to maintain my strut till we got into the car) I still haven't regained feeling in my little toe (I think it might be dead).
A BIG THANK YOU to those that have read this blog and have encouraged me and think it’s funny??? Hmmm… thanks a lot (Smooches) xxx**This one's dedicated to 'the one' who stole my phrase & my ..... ("It's my world, I just let y'all live in it")
I've always taken that quote for granted. I can honestly say that I know now the feeling of euphoria which Martin Luther King Jr. (God rest his soul) meant for us to feel at the utterance of these words.
I am happy to announce that no longer will I be sitting at my desk feigning "typing up reports" YES! People... I have a new job. One with "real" responsibilities.
I am more excited that I will be working in an area that is truly my passion and something that I want to do with my life (not necessarily as a paying job). Miss Oprah would be so so proud of me.
I want to thank those that have listened as I have "bitched" month after month and hope that now I will call and talk about how fulfilled I am in my new position. My cousin, my sister, my best friend... you're phenomenal. Every woman should take a page from your book. You're truly an inspiration. Thank you for words of encouragement and for allowing me to realize when one door closes, it always best to look for an open window instead of giving up.
Of course I will be back after a weekend of CELEBRATING... and oh yeah my "no drinking policy" (yeah I recently gave up drinking... that's a whole 'nother story) is taking a hiatus in commemoration of this EVENT... Partying begins at Happy Hour Friday evening. T.G.I.F!!!
Of course I will be sharing more of my experiences with all you wonderful people. I just needed an outlet for all this excitement.
More as and when....
P.S. Those are the designated partying shoes for tomorrow...yeah baby!!!"Never be bullied into silence, never allow youself to be made a victim. Accept no one's definition of your life; DEFINE YOURSELF!" - Harvey Fierstein
Ok so I am a sista who’s down for the cause. Go Black Brothers! Do your thing! Stay out of jail! Go to college! Raise our kids! Down with baby mama drama! GOOD? OK!
I have loved R. Kelly since the first day I saw him ‘Bumpin & Grindin’ (you know the video) I don’t think what I was feeling back then was natural for a young; pre-pubescent Christian girl (ahem!) I could have sworn up and down that R. Kelly and I were meant to be together. It was kismet… that was then.
This is now… I have a couple of bones to pick with Robert. I know the brotha’s trying to stash away some change just in case he needs to go away for a while but what is up with making 4 songs out of the same song. ‘R’ just put a whole new twist on recycling music.
Has anyone not noticed that “Step in the name of Love”; “Step in the name of Love- the remix”; ‘Happy People’ and very recently 2 new songs I heard on the radio a couple of days ago are ALL the same SONG? Same track laced with different lyrics. I mean talk about getting your money’s worth!
When ‘Happy People’ was released, I thought to myself “Ok this will be the last one, he can’t fool these people forever” but noooo apparently I give people way too much credit. People are still bumping to these songs like “Uuuh that’s R .Kelly’s new joint!” New joint? You’ve heard this song 3 times already!
Don’t get me wrong. I love R. Kelly and until I was opportune to meet my current baby daddy Boris Kodjoe (more to come on “our” relationship), R. Kelly was definitely the father of my kids… well I did have my eyes on a few others, Will, Morris, Shemar, Blair, Michael Ealy, Adam Rodriguez(cutie from CSI: Miami)… ok so I digress. Excuse me a sec while I wipe the drool off my keyboard. I’ll be sure to share my “Baby Daddy list a.k.a my list of “Men who can tap that” (whaat??)
Anyway I was there jammin’ when ‘Twelve Play’ was released and I will be getting a copy of TP3:Reloaded and I promise to get a real copy this time of course after I sample the one I buy in traffic on the bridge (We all know Nigeria is Bootleg Central)
In the meantime… R! Babey! You are a powerhouse with an infinite reservoir of talent, you’re going to do for R&B what Tupac did for hip-hop. You may leave us but your works will outlive you so lay off on the 4 song minimum on a track…
And if things with Boris don’t work out… I’ll give u a call ;-)
Almost everyone has had to answer the age-old question“what would you come back as in another life?” While most people give philosophical answers like a cheetah for its speed and agility or an eagle for its ability to soar to unreachable heights. I on the other hand, want to return as a pair of fabulous display shoes. I’ll explain; I say display shoes for only one intensive purpose. Some shoes are works of art. I just want to buy them and put them up in my closet and never wear them. I don’t want to be a practical shoe that will have to be ground continuously on the floor or God forbid step into some “dog doo-doo”. I want to be put on a pedestal and appreciated.
By now u must know surely I have an unhealthy obsession with shoes. When I buy a new pair of shoes I have what I like to call ‘the breaking in ceremony’ in which I wear them around the house for about a week. I wear them with my PJ’s; I strut in them while I’m exfoliating and cleansing; going down to get a drink of water; sit and talk on the phone while I dangle my feet and admire how good they look with my nail polish (u get the picture) I put my shoes together with all kinds of outfits in my head. I’ve been known to toss and turn in bed just imagining what I would look like in a pair of new shoes or what my “strut” would convey to all those watching.
Now the ladies know what I’m talking about. Describing the rush from the perfect pair of shoes to a man is pointless…u can practically see their eyes glaze over from lack of understanding as u explain to them how much longer your legs look. As I’ve tried to explain to “Himself” countless number of times; trying to justify a recent acquisition of the perfect Dolce & Gabbana (black pumps, criss-cross (one black, one flower print), the perfect heel) shoes kindly bestowed upon me by a “bestie” of mine on a recent shopping escapade in Edinburgh ( I luv u B!) He didn’t understand why I needed $400 shoes but a TV for a $1000 makes more sense to him (roite!).
The particular shoes I aspire to be; change with the seasons. I like to think of it as my own personal evolvement in style and of course in life. This season, my choice- Beige- Patent leather- Manolo Blahnik- Mary Janes! Absolutely lovely…perfect color; perfect form; 3 1/2 inch heels…goes with everything! I imagine it with jeans, a tee & pearls or with “the little black dress” or with a skirt… the possibilities are limitless.
Mr. Blahnik himself said it best; "Women should always transform themselves, and shoes are instant transformation, "Plus, a dress is more elaborate and expensive than a pair of shoes.”
So there see… if Mr. Blahnik said it, then surely my addiction can’t be that bad… I think.
WELCOME! I have just "popped my blogging cherry" In my decision to do this, the following thots have crossed my mind. Why would I put my thots on display for everyone to see? Does anyone really give a rat's ass what my thots are? Ultimately I have come to the conclusion that this is an outlet for me so as not to lose what is left of my ever-loving mind. See the thing is.. I have recently made "the move" back home to Nigeria. In these last 7 months, though I have always questioned my sanity, I have come to the conclusion that I am truly insane (most of the time anyway) Why would I leave civilized society & return to absolute chaos & anarchy.. a totally unstructured society where the response to the most hideous things is "That's Nigeria for you!" I STILL LOVE IT THOUGH and wouldn't trade this for anything else in the world...on most days.
Maybe this will give more insight to my friends & acquaintances on that crazy look I get in my eyes. Maybe I won't go completely mad...maybe I already am. All I know is.. this is fun and while my manager thinks that I am typing away furiously at that report that needs to be on her desk before the end of the week, inside I feel justified for the "meager pocket money" that I get paid as a "youth corper" (that's for a whole 'nother day)
Welcome.. to the confessions of a truly twisted mind..
